Ligero. Lumen. Lumière. Luce. Light.

I'm back! I hope...

2011-06-21T23:13:00.003+08:00

Wow. I haven't blogged since my birthday. That's 4 months ago.

There are a million and one thoughts in my head but somehow I just never remembered to pen them down and when I do want to blog about them or write it down, I am at a loss for words. Anyhow. No point looking at what had passed (ngam ngam my iTunes is playing 'Don't Look Back At Anger' by Oasis).

So what has happened in my life?

Studies. Hanging out with friends. Movies (lots and lots of movies and series). Sports (badminton, swimming, bouldering). Driving (the jams are terrible.. T_T). Alone time. Chores. Serendipitous discoveries (self-dicoveries).

All in all, I have been good. Although a little busy and occupied, but I am happy. Very much so! =)

SO hello bloggie! :) I am back.

From UK with ♥ =D

2011-02-19T12:45:00.005+08:00

I have been utterly surprised and moved in the most unimaginable way. They always said that distance tends to break or dampen any relationship but I guess there is always that one or two exception. :) Well, did I mention that I am officially 21? =P

The big two one is something big or at least celebrated but I think the real celebration and the real meaning is not in the presents nor in the wishes, nor the parties we throw.. it's actually having the people whom I love and care about around me on this day which makes it so special and so dear. Well, there's 3 particular people who I would love to have the most this day aside from my family; Jia Rong, Ai Jane and Elizabeth. And it so happens that all 3 of them are a few oceans away. Funny how the distance will actually make me think of them so much more. I miss you 3 dearly.

I am who I am today because of so many things, lessons and because of so many people and one of them being the 3 of you. What I wouldn't give to have the 3 of you here today. Sigh.. this is making me emotional. But.. let's brighten up the mood.

Going back to the main point.. this week has been made special because of you ELIZABETH CHIA SU YIN! :) I'll let the pictures do the talking.

First it was the postcard that arrived on Thursday.
I was so tired that day and when I walked into the house
I saw this card on the table with a familiar handwriting and
a UK stamp. I had to smile when I saw it. It was a wonderful
surprise to perk me from the exhausting day I had.

The yesterday (Friday, 18th Feb), I finally went to Liz's place
to collect the presents she got her brother to bring back from the UK.
I thought it was just one present, but I was surprised to find a bag with 2
gifts inside. And there was this note. Haha. She even left instructions.
I could so hear her say the words "or ELSE!" at the moment.

1) Open the largest package. TA-DA! She got me 2 Austen movies!
I haven't read Sense and Sensibility. Which means, i'll have to get the book
soon. And She got me Colin Firth's version of Pride & Prejudice which
I only managed to watch a little bit of the beginning in Sha's place.
I recently read a book called Mr Darcy's diary, how apt, now I get to
rewatch P&P! =)

2) Open the smaller package. haha. She gave me a stress ball keychain.
It's so cute. I've been squeezing it already. The stress ball is
actually a piece of keepsake and also in remembrance
of our stressful endeavor in Ms Winnee's class. lol. I actually miss Ms Winnee. =P

3) Open the silver envelop and read the card.
4) Read the letter in the card.
I nearly cried when I read them. sigh.. Now I miss her even more.
I hate and love you Liz! Mostly I hate you for being so
far away. Yea. I'm actually saying I miss you. =P Can you tell??

Then when I came home, I got another surprise from her.
Gosh.. she has so outdone herself this time. =)
I found a birthday card from her sitting in the postbox.
Again, what she wrote made me smile and cry at the same time.
How much more contradictory can I get, right? Sheesh..

But what made me feel touched and truly loved is this. I nearly missed it.
Thank you Liz, I'd say the same to you too. :)

Gosh... I feel all mushy now. =P

2011-02-17T00:32:00.002+08:00

The best part about studying Mass Comm is actually the projects we get to do. This is a film project done by my friends. It's pretty funny and cute. Enjoy! =)

Babies :)

2011-02-17T00:03:00.004+08:00

I volunteered to help my aunt with her kids this week cause her mom is out of town. I love kids. =) My cousins are superbly adorable. They are really easy to love and they are quite manageable. It'll be a real eye-opening experience to see these two grow before our eyes. Haha. Which means, I'm getting older. =P

This is baby Cheryll. She is just 2 months old.

I know, her chubby cheeks makes you wanna pinch it right?? =P

The amazing part about her is the fact that she knows how to return a smile

when you smile and talk to her. Kinda intelligent. :)

The only thing is that she likes to be carried around,

so it can be tiring but she smells awesome! (yea..I sniff her scent all the time! XP)

This is Darren. He's turning 2 this May. He's super active and super

playful. Kinda like me when I was a kid.

He very smiley and he's very sociable for a child of 1 plus.

He likes to play with other children when he sees them.

He has a habit of saying goodbye to anyone he sees going out the door even strangers.

He likes to wave goodbye and at the same time, he likes to give goodbye kisses.

He's one of the most engrossing films to watch!

Valentine by Kina Grannis

2011-01-20T00:21:00.002+08:00

This is so sweet and the tune's just addictive. =)

They run 5km marathons, I watch english drama marathons =)

2011-01-12T10:46:00.009+08:00

The word marathon always gives me the feel that it's a quick rush from one point to the other; it's adrenaline pumping and super exhilarating! I've been so obsessed with two series in particular; Chuck and Castle. =) Yeap.. Carmen likes everything that starts with a 'C'. It's a recurring pattern with me. Both the series have awesome concepts and a really good list of songs from a lot talented independent artists.

Chuck is about this nerdy guy who works at a Buy More as a computer tech. The twist is that he accidentally downloads the Intersect which contains the government's secret into his brain. So yeah, he's pretty much in grave danger and he got caught up in a web of spy stuff and fell in love with his handler (protector). Absolutely funny and lighthearted. It's not too heavy and it's really easy to fall in love with Zach Levi and Yvonne Strahovski. =)

Castle is a more lighthearted and witty version of CSI. There's no super high tech gear or really elaborate details about the sciences behind the evidence recovery. It really gives you a feel that your watching a mystery novel unfold. Really funny and entertaining. I absolutely like Beckett's character. She's liken the modern Elizabeth Bennet and Castle is just a really cool and humorous writer full of childlike wonder and wild theories. Stana Katic is stunning!

Enough words... PICTURES!

I like the way they look at each other. Awesome chemistry! :)

This is a cute scene. Spies and lovers. Quite the combo.

Their eyes just lock and it's amazing how they finish each other's sentence.

Sweet and somewhat cute.

Haha.. one of my favorite scenes!

This is another funny scene!

=) Can't wait to see what's next!

The End by Pearl Jam

2011-01-09T04:16:00.002+08:00

I've been hooked on a new series... The soundtrack is pretty much awesome too! =)

What were all those dreams we shared

Those many years ago?

What were all those plans we made now

Left beside the road?

Behind us in the road

More than friends, I always pledged

Cause friends they come and go

People change, as does everything

I wanted to grow old

I just want to grow old

Slide up next to me

I'm just a human being

I will take the blame

But just the same

This is not me

You see?

Believe

I'm better than this

Don't leave me so cold

I'm buried beneath the stones

I just want to hold on

I know I'm worth your love

Enough

I don't think

There's such a thing

It's my fault now

Having caught a sickness in my bones

How it pains to leave you here

With the kids on your own

Just don't let me go

Help me see myself

Cause I can no longer tell

Looking out from the inside

Of the bottom of a well

It's hell

I yell

But no one hears before I disappear

Whisper in my ear

Give me something to echo

In my unknown future's ear

My dear

The end

Comes near

I'm here

But not much longer

2011-01-09T04:01:00.002+08:00

I spent the entire of last year getting myself through things, schedules, routines and my life like it was robotic and pretty much numb. I keep thinking that there is something I missed or I shouldn't have let it pass me by.

Holidays is becoming something I actually dread. I can't believe I'm saying this but somehow, it just seems too slow. I wonder why or when I started to love the rush of a busy and hectic schedule. I'm sure I'll regret not enjoying my holidays more now when I'm working in the future.

2010 was a year of utter breakthrough filled with both the good and the bad. Most importantly it was a year of unending freshness. I've never experienced so many new things and I've never had a more tearful year. The tears have been shed over and over again and now.. it's finally stopped and it freaks me out.

The worst fear is not knowing the fact that I can't change things, but knowing that I have stopped to care and that I have given up. I can't shake this feeling off and it scares me to know that I can actually turn my mind off. Not that it's not a good thing; it's a good break to shut off my mind but I'm afraid that I have kept it off for too long that I'm now immune and numb.

So afraid that it makes my body shiver.. Seeing but truly seeing, knowing but not shaken, fearing but not at all moved.

I have finally admitted it. My defeat.

2011-01-04T13:49:00.002+08:00

Oh my.. it's 2011 already. It actually just dawned on me that I'm turning 21. I couldn't really grasps the fact that I was turning 12, let alone 21. Still, I doubt that much of me is different. Nope. I highly doubt my 21-to-be self is any more different than my 20-plus self.

There's so much I would want to pen down, believe me, much has happened. Still, life happened. I practically rushed through the last half of 2010. From books to assignments to crazy projects to camp to my family trip. Don't get me wrong, it was enjoyable; it just all felt like a mad rush. I guess this year's probably gonna be the same.

Funny thing bout all this is that I still manage to squeeze in time for stuff like watching Chuck in high-speed marathon mode, catching up with friends from high school in really short lunch dates, etc.

21.. Can't wait! ;)

2010-10-17T23:23:00.001+08:00

Happy Birthday Liz. =)

Love you lots. Your a real gem.

2010-10-17T23:10:00.003+08:00

Warning: If your day sucks and you don't wanna read about me ranting about my studies, then the 'x' button is on the top right hand corner. Have a nice day. :)

I was pretty excited to start second year. Note the word 'was'. First year was fine, kinda cool and really relaxing I have to say. Second year is actually torture and unexpectedly stressful. Yes, note the word 'stressful'.

Whoever said Mass Comm was easy, PLEASE EAT YOUR WORDS! The studying part is fine, it's the assignments and projects that are driving me up the wall. Social Psychology is actually so much harder than the first year Psych subjects. Research papers in year 2 are insane.

Ok.. all that I'm trying to say is..

"aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"

There. So MUCH better. Did I mention I have midterms this Tuesday? T_T Back to work.

2010-10-03T00:12:00.001+08:00

"Bravery is being the only one who knows your afraid."

- Franklin P Jones

coincidentally weird

2010-10-02T23:56:00.002+08:00

I'm absolutely in love with soundtracks! =) They make me feel really at peace.

Oh oh oh!! =) I just discovered that one of my classmate from Social Psych has a lot in common with me! No like the weirdest similarities! We are both staying in Cheras and it's hard to come by when your studying at Damansara. We both have friends in common from the weirdest places. We are both BORN IN THE SAME HOSPITAL! Weird right!?

She's super smart and really super awesome. It's really fun getting to know her. We're kinda alike in many ways and it's funny how we never crossed paths till now, we had so many chances but it just didn't happen. Guess it's not too late. You rock See Tho Wai Siong! =)

2010-09-18T11:34:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY KAI LI!!!!!!!!! =)

Shall see you on Monday. ;)

Liz

2010-09-18T11:26:00.003+08:00

Went to send Liz off last Saturday at the airport. I wasn't exactly looking forward to it but it was good to see her off. It's amazing how someone can really touch our lives in a matter of months. I guess when God sends us friends like these, it only takes a while for us to connect and enjoy each other's company.

I miss you Liz! :( I know your having a blast in Sheffield woman. Oh well, we part only to meet again. So I'll see you soon. =)

2010-09-18T11:18:00.003+08:00

Nothing better. Just me, tea and a book. =)

2010-08-18T01:33:00.003+08:00

It feels like my entire life has been going down this road. Wondering. Day dreaming. Confused. Mixed up and really messed up. Will someone please wake me up?

2010-08-18T01:27:00.001+08:00

I wanna get..

really LOST in here.

The Climb vs The Result

2010-08-03T23:46:00.003+08:00

Had an interesting debate over dinner yesterday. Aunty Mei Ling was going on about how nothing else matters but the end result and my brother argued that the process was equally important and all that stuff, which is true and I totally agree with him but this reminded me of my first semester in uni.

I had to take this compulsory subject from the Psych dept called Leadership and Life Skills during my first sem and our lecturer absolutely loved making us relate and share our "life experiences" in class.

I recall the day he made one of our class a debate session, and yes, the topic was about how important the end result is compared to the process or as we call it.. The CLIMB.

After the endless rebuts and arguements; Meng took his turn to the center of the stage and simply said,

"Have you heard of Miley Cyrus' song, The Climb? Well ya, I know, I know... (he quotes from the lyrics) it's not about how fast I get there.. it's not about what's on the other side, it's about.. (he gestures at the audience) THE CLIMB............ You know, it's funny. So what on earth are we doing if we aren't aiming for the end result, the ultimate goal?? No, seriously. What are you aiming for????

It's the people who can't reach the end result are those who roll down the mountain singing about the climb! If you reached the goal, you'd definitely be singing about The RESULT! So yeah, your singing .."It's all about the The Climb, bla bla bla.. it's not about how fast you get there.." cause you..well.. ROLLED off the mountain. Period."

I had to laugh at that. HAHA! Though I agree that the climb and the result is equally important, this is funny don't you think? ;P

2010-08-01T19:10:00.003+08:00

This is for you. :) It must feel like your living in hell.. but I know you'll make it there and back. Forget what the world sees, close your eyes, take a deep breathe and just keep moving. Little by little you'll make it further than you imagined. Hang in there. You're gonna be alright. :)

The Heart of The Matter - India Arie

2010-07-13T20:30:00.002+08:00

My Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

I've bought a computer for my home and I've found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice:

1. There is a button 'Start' but there is no 'Stop' button. I request you to please check this.

2. One doubt is, whether any 'Re-Scooter' is available in System..? Cos I find only 'Re-cycle', as I own only a scooter.

3. I recently learnt 'Microsoft Word', now I want to learn 'Microsoft Sentence'. So, when will you provide that?

4. There is 'microsoft office', but what about 'microsoft home' since I use this at home only.

5. One personal question, how is it that your name is 'Gates' but you are selling 'Windows'; instead of 'Doors'..!! Awaiting Reply.

With best regards,

Mr. Bean.

Goodness me. =P

2010-07-11T18:22:00.002+08:00

I miss it..

Fickle Minded

2010-07-11T18:02:00.003+08:00

First there was old England, then it was Argentina, later after that it was Germany and now... yes, N-O-W..... it's Spain.

Dang. I can't wait for the World Cup to be over cause I can't bare to choose to support another team again. Sigh.... I have loyalty issues. Dang that silly octopus! :(

2010-06-28T01:01:00.002+08:00

It is decided....

I will switch sides and support Argentina now! =P

England... just so you know, you've taken my hopes and dashed them into pieces. You broke my heart and my voice screaming at you bunch. Not only do I need an overdose of honey and Trilex, I need to buy more lozenges too. It's over between us.. I don't want to EVER EVER remember all these disappointments. You hurt me real bad. TT_TT

It's the World Cup yo. :P

"Pliii-zing"

2010-06-28T00:34:00.002+08:00

"Your afraid. You fear loneliness. You want so much to prove that your actually not alone. You just want to know that your never left out or never forgotten. Really badly too.."

I guess we have our reasons for pleasing different people. I admit, I do a lot of things with a motive in mind (scared of me now, aren't you? ;P) and also I do a lot of things that means me being taken advantage of. Looking at him reflects on how silly and insane I really am.

"It's not worth it!" "You know your being used.." "Are ya nuts!? Say NO!!"

I have a thing for going against my better judgement. Yeap. Still, I wonder why I never objected. It's not like the word N-O is too hard to pronounce, nor is it too hard to get off my chest. I'd like to think of myself as some saint, helping others though it's so out of the way and all. But.. It's so irksome to know that I allow it because I fear the consequences of me acting otherwise.

Gee whiz.... Where has my 'spunk' gone???

Water can KILL.

2010-06-11T00:36:00.001+08:00

Solidarités International: Water talks from La Boite Concept on Vimeo.

This is another ad. It's pretty cool and very creative. Check it out! :)

La Boite Concept (arcade multimedia) HD from La Boite Concept on Vimeo.

gLee!

2010-06-10T18:48:00.006+08:00

GLEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D

The songs in the season finale episode were really impressing. :) I especially like Somewhere Over the Rainbow and Faithfully. Awesome.

Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.

Blue

2010-06-08T08:12:00.002+08:00

I think it's 3 weeks in a row already... weird. I've been wearing blue every Monday. Talk about Monday Blues.

I think stress will soon catch up since the assignments are starting to pile up. But knowing me.. haha. Last minute worker. =P

I wanna swim tomorrow! XP Oh yea..I'm finally meeting up with Ms Eunice Goh!!! =D

2010-05-28T00:27:00.003+08:00

As expected. This semester will be pretty much 'free and easy' for me. =) 2 subjects, lots of free time and only 2 books to cram in this 7 weeks. I am contented for short semesters. For now. Not looking forward to the assignments and projects that will be pouring in soon. But anyway.. I'll be at ease. For now..

_________________________________________________________

Last week was pretty amazing. Met up with 4 different friends in total. Glad that God gave me such an opportunity to see them again. It's funny seeing some of them, especially my best friend. Aside from the hair cut and her accent, she really amazed me like she always did. She shines wherever she goes and talking to her face to face after so long really makes it feel like nothing has changed. Yes, I missed you Rong.

I spent so much time visualizing the two of us after high school; where would we be, what would we be doing, etc. funny how God has everything planned out. It's almost too surreal for me. Again, I can't thank the Lord enough for all of this.

Oh yea.. and then there was Liz. The highlight of that day was her going all lobster red from her little experiment with a mojito. lol. Epic. She was literally RED! Other than that, I really enjoyed spending time with her. She's awesome to be with. Will miss this nut so much when she goes to UK.

Met up with Mel today, we went to ease our itching hands and feet. =P Haven't been to Camp 5 for a really long time. So much changes! Nonetheless, it was fun feeling the rocks after a while. :) It's always fun chatting with her. Her perspective and thought often enlightens me and it was some what refreshing today. Glad we met up Mel! :)

So yes.. I have been doing ok thus far. More than that, I've been doing great. =)

2010-05-18T10:49:00.002+08:00

Too soon. Looks like my first year will flash past me faster than I think. Sometimes I wonder where did all the time vanished to. One moment I'm in high school, then the next in college and now here.

But I guess it's kinda exciting. :) Yeap. Definitely.

I had a good start to a new semester yesterday. My timetable too good to be true; 2 subjects and a lot of free time! Looks like I get to bolder more often then. *grins* And more time to hang out with all long lost friends from long long ago. Bliss.

My best friend is coming home!!! =D

On another note, I finally had lunch with Jennifer. It took me 3 sems to get a hold of her. It's so good to be able to hang out with her and talk like we used to over chicken rice. We couldn't stop talking the entire time, too much details and gossip to catch up on. ;) Nonetheless, it was a good 2 hours.

Bliss. Such a sweet and consuming feeling. =)

Did I mention my best friend is coming home? =P Haha! I can't wait!

Update - random stuff

2010-04-24T17:58:00.005+08:00

Haha.. assuming there are people who visits this blog; hey'all! I haven't had the chance to blog in a while cause well the assignment deadlines were here and plus exams just kicked start. But the silver-lining in this case is the holidays that are coming up. =D

So here's what happened recently :-

- My car (por'cheh) went to the 'beautician'. Haha.. the guy was like, "Whoa, your car has so much scratches and dents! This will take a while." Well, what do ya expect of a 14 year old junk? But mind you, my junk is a powerful junk! ;)

- First paper was Friday, Quantitative Methods aka Stats. Who knew Psychology has stats. ;P Well.. my brain was partly damaged from that. Next paper is on Monday. Gee whiz.. what am I doing here right? I think they call this de-stressing.

- Went for a camp gathering in MCKL last Sunday. It was short but really sweet.

- Study break = chauffeuring

- My dad was very random the other day, he called me just to ask me,

"Hey. I am at Sunway University now. Why didn't you study at Sunway? The place looks good and the environment is good too. Your HELP looks so old and low yaa"

"You pay for it, dad. The very nice environment and building comes with a price."

"Really?"

"HELP costs less than Sunway."

"Oh..really?"

"DUH!"

"Ok.. bye!"

lol... I have no words for this.

- My friend told me that she will not forgive me if I don't send her off at the airport. *JAW DROP*

- I just discovered that I can watch movies for free online FOR REAL. Serious!

- My best friend is coming back from the States. :)

- I boldered for 3 hours last Thursday - did 1 to 30 3 times and gave myself a lot of blisters and a pair of really sore feet.

- My dog puked on the floor I just cleaned. I nearly considered to strangle the thing.

- I haven't slept before 1 a.m. in like a really long time.

- Li-Sha left the funniest message on my Fb wall, "i dont like how u email kai li but dont email me. NOT FAIR. I LET U WATCH PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AT MY HOUSE OKAY." Sha, I still think Matthew Macfayden was the better Mr Darcy. =P

- I bumped into this counselor guy and he told me, "Your gonna be worth a lot in the market when you work." Whoa... Really?

- I have a constant urge to watch HK drama series. Addicted to them like I'm on drugs.

- I talked to Kamini on the phone till like 1 plus a.m. talking about t-tests, ANOVAs and dear Ms Winnee. How I'm gonna miss stats. Seriously!

- *knock on the door* "Come in," I said. Lo and behold, the air-cond repair guy walked into my room when I was folding my lingerie. We stared at each other for like 1 minute before we moved again. Opps? He pretended not to look and started telling me about how old and faulty my ever loyal air-cond is. All I could do was nod like a robot. My face is still burning red from that. =P

p/s: In my defence, thought it was my mom, cause I heard her voice along the corridor.

Eek.. I think that's all. =P Oh, I read this on a friend's blog and I thought it was funny. :)

I clamber into the car after tuition and find it unnaturally silent. My parents are both sitting up front, looking straight ahead, sitting like they've got stiff rods stuck up their spines. just as i'm about to crash through the window yelling "My parents are zombies!" as we pass the police station, i get a text message from my dad.

"can't talk. having a silent competition. try to get mummy to talk. i want to win."

i spent two hours, walking around in a house as silent as a tomb, talking to myself, wondering why on earth i feel like i'm the only mature one in the family ~~at times~~.

oh and if you wanted to know..my dad won.
he called the house phone using my cell while we were both hiding upstairs so my mum HAD to answer the call, it went something like.

"Hello?"
"AHAHA!YOU LOOOOSE"

Have a good week everyone. :)

2010-04-11T23:20:00.002+08:00

I think I have never had an urge to do something so bad but I didn't even move a muscle. What happened to me?

2010-03-28T18:33:00.002+08:00

Stupidity..

I guess I won't jump off a cliff with anyone or do something insanely painful with anyone either. But I did something really stupid for you. Maybe stupid isn't the right word at all. I think the word should be heartbreaking and gut wrenching.

Is this enough?

2010-03-16T09:00:00.003+08:00

Avoiding something is not the easiest thing to do but the most convenient shortcut. We know running away or hiding won't help solve the problem, but maybe indulging in ignorance was the only escape we saw possible.

Sometimes, we loose faith and we lack courage to face anything, it's so hard to look at trouble in the face and march against it head strong. By the time we turn around again with the intention to fight it, we loose the energy to move.

There's a saying that goes, "Your stronger than you think.." I agree. We're stronger and more powerful than we'd imagine ourselves to be, but sometimes, we crumble and we just get overpowered.

Funny thing is, no matter how much we complain, how far we run away from it or how hard we try to avoid it; we find ourselves mustering the courage we thought we had lost to put up with it day by day.

We can run away and live in a lie but we can never really bring ourselves to do it sometimes. Say all you want, but at the end of the day, we face it. And occasionally, not for ourselves but for other's sakes, we choose to stay for them and be strong for them. We owe it to them. At least that much.

I'm here for you, just as you were here for me. :)

2010-03-16T08:57:00.001+08:00

4 times.

4 TIMES!

I literally puked my guts out. sigh.. My throats hurts from all the vomiting.

Waaaaaaaayyy back when..

2010-03-12T00:52:00.002+08:00

I was at KL Sentral the other day with Liz. It's so funny to walk into that crowded place without anyone screaming for ice cream or fruits. Haha. I think I really miss being in MCKL. I don't know why, some silly attachment problem I think. Maybe all the psych stuff is finally getting to me. =P

So as I was waiting for my 'Por-cheh' to arrive, I saw a familiar face.

"Ms Angeline!!" I yelled ignoring the stares.

Funny thing is, she never thought me, but I enjoy talking to her somehow. She's a really cool and funny lecturer. :) Haha. She even gave me the best advice ever! "Next time, marry a rich man.." lol.

----------------------------------------------------------------------->

I have at least 25 albums plus from the 1.5 years I had in this little college. The biggest album is the one I made during the final exam period. =P Looking at them made me laugh non-stop. My friends thought I went nuts. I think our heads are so intoxicated by memories that it's like we're high on drugs every time we think back.

I think I still remember my timetable! Gosh. yeah! double lit is on Thursdays, double econs is on Wednesdays I think and Law er.. law is everyday. Pre-U is on Tuesdays, and SC meetings are everyday if an event is coming up. Talk about living in the past right?

sigh.. Such blissful memories. :) lalalalalalalalalalalala..

*glances at the clock*

1:25 a.m.

Yikes!

Jack and Jill

2010-03-07T23:22:00.004+08:00

I miss singing nursery rhymes. :) From twinkle twinkle little stars to eency weency spider to a 100 miles to que que sara. It was fun. :)

Best part is what dad said.

Me: Jack and Jill..

Mom and Ivan: went up the hill to...

Dad: CURI RAMBUTAN.........

*sweat* Funny la!

2010-03-07T22:32:00.000+08:00

Ignorance was bliss.

Knowledge is.. torment.

There's this eerie feeling about knowing things. Knowledge of scientific facts is enlightening, however, the knowledge of ugly truths is horrifying. It's also so sickening. Like it makes me feel that I can puke my guts out. Pungent. Cold and unfeeling.

I wonder..

2010-02-24T14:45:00.002+08:00

I wonder.. what makes up the perfect match?

Is it the way talk to each other? the soft hushed voices, the words we use that makes no sense to others but us?

Is it the way we would look at each other? the tiny sparkles we have when we see each other, the glow of happiness we have to know we belong to one another?

Is it in the littlest things we do for each other? sweet "I'm thinking of you" sms-es or cute little drawings we did of us when it's bored in class or the fact that you would remember things for me when you know I won't?

Is it the chemistry we have? the way we click together and somehow flow on the same wave length all the time?

Is it the way we would touch? the gentle and warm hands that would weather the cold or hold me close so tenderly that it feels as though I'm fragile.

Is it the way we would constantly walk together? how you would never walk in front of me or behind me but always beside me.

Is it the way we would know just what to say to each other at the right moment? "You'll be fine.." "Your not alone.." "I'm here."

But I guess all the above is not something definite. Nope. That's not perfect.. that's nearly a fairy tale. It's not that it's impossible, it's just that it's so rare and at the same time, so unoriginal. The most perfect match I guess comes with a set of imperfections; perfection is attained when we can learn to love and tolerate each other.

"At the end of the day.. it's those imperfections, that makes us perfect for one another."

- quote from a Yasmin Ahmad commercial.

Maybe I'll find my imperfect half some day.. :)

We Are The World

2010-02-24T13:26:00.004+08:00

Watching this video and listening to the song really sent chills down my spine. :) I think this song really amazing.

Lappy. =) RED!

2010-02-23T01:35:00.005+08:00

Don't be decieved by the bag..

Now now... what can possibly be inside?? @.@

*gasps* Ini kah isinya!?

RED.... OOOoouuuuu.. @.@

CHUN-NESS!!

Of course a cam whore session with my lappy is a must!

Heee... =D Blissful-nya!

So 'yeng' right? =)

Thank you Aunt Yin Peng for

the awesomest present ever! =D

2010-02-20T00:43:00.002+08:00

Awesome. :) My day was superbly and fantastically AWESOME!

I got a new LAPTOP!!!

(ok, fine.. technically I only own 1/3 of it, but hehehe..

I know I'll be the only who uses it cause I need it for college. =P)

Thank you Kelvin and Mel for tea/dinner at Delicious on Thursday. I love the presents Mel! I ♥ you!! =D And to Liz, Lynn and Kamini.. thank you, you 3 sweet angels. =) It was a real blast spending my birthday with you girls. Thank you Liz for the thoughtful gift. You made me laugh the most. =P Let's watch a movie again! Love you girls. =D

Whee.. I shall cam-whore with my lappy soon. ♥

Mile 2.0 =)

2010-02-20T00:24:00.002+08:00

It's obvious. I've entered a new age group. Or so my friends tell me. Yeap. My 'teen' days are now officially over. *let me take a moment to ponder on those memories* =) It was bittersweet and really full of vibrant colors. :)

2 decades now. Did I grow? I think so. It feels that way. :) I feels like there are new perspectives, new ideas, new thoughts and new goals and aspirations. I think I feel kinda happy to know that I am growing older. Not because of the freedom I get, but because I feel I am being prepared to take on more of what the Lord has installed for me. BRING IT!

Most importantly, I hope I have grown stronger and tougher; emotionally and spiritually. It has been a real roller coaster ride for me. Sometimes I wonder if I can take on this journey. But God has His ways. I guess it's time to stop giving God instructions and just take His directions. Here I am, Lord. Hold my hand and guide me through. :)

Some many miles those were. Conquered them I have. Another mile again. I have traveled 2.0 miles. Not bad eh? =P

2010-02-16T00:44:00.001+08:00

3 days more. XD

OH oooohh...

Used to

2010-02-16T00:33:00.001+08:00

We used to have this figured out;
We used to breathe without a doubt.
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.
We used to have this under control.
We never thought.
We used to know.
At least there's you, and at least there's me.
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back to how it used to be?

Yea. Used to. Guess I have to get used to this now. sigh..

I Hope You Dance. :)

2010-02-12T08:21:00.004+08:00

I think this song is really written beautifully. Something to encourage everyone today.

Life brings you down, it can make you feel small and worthless, it can even make you feel that you froze dead in your tracks but give faith a fighting chance. I hope you'd find joy regardless of the circumstances and I hope you'd always dance in the midst of the worst possible situations. I hope you'd dance. :)

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

Feb =)

2010-02-12T08:03:00.004+08:00

I just noticed that it's February. :) For some reason, this February seems a little different. I used to be really jumpy and excited when Feb comes; yes... I am super excited when my birthday is around the corner. =P

This year? Not so much. In fact.. I wasn't exactly looking forward to it. So much has happened in the last 8 to 9 months of my life and I think it has finally taken its tow on me. I've wasted too much tears on it and I've grown to be numb in a way.

But I know that God has intended my life to take such a course. Did I grow? I really hope so. Did I mature? I really hope so. Did I become stronger? I really really hope so. It's a tough walk ahead but I am ever so glad for the people who are willing to come take my hand and walk beside me. Thanks. :)

I've never known how powerful this sentence is until recently, "This is what we have to face, know that your not alone anymore.." I think I was so awed and touched that tears began to fall. I have to stop crying too much, but better out than in. :)

So, welcome February. :) Thanks for bringing some sunshine in with you. =)

MJ Medley.

2010-02-03T08:27:00.001+08:00

This is really good! Talent + Creativity. :)

tinggi..

2010-01-31T18:30:00.003+08:00

Aku telah pergi memanjat satu bukit pada hari khamis.

Itu bukit

jangan main-main, whey!

Permandangan di sana cukup cantik dan menakjubkan. :) Aku sangat gembira. Kenapa? Boleh tengok itu banyak banyak awan, pokok dan itu burung-burung berterbangan. Cantik syok! Nanti saya 'naikan' gambar kat blog saya ini. =D

Ok.....that's all my BM can afford today. =P

2010-01-28T11:47:00.004+08:00

Sometimes when you least expect it; you'll find it. Sometimes when you find it; you'll find that you didn't need it to be the reason for you to smile or laugh. And sometimes when you finally find yourself smiling.. you'll find that you've FOUND IT at last. :)

I guess you don't have to look too hard. :) Finding joy in the simplest pleasures of life. Something I think I finally understand. You can walk around with your heart heavy and burdened, but who says you can't smile and still find joy?

Be happy. Be joyful. Life is too short to be wasted on tears and sorrow.

SO... Hmmm.. Well then....

2010-01-19T14:12:00.002+08:00

Awkward. I can't stand direct selling. Seriously.. Haiyoh! Sigh.. just when I thought lunch was for us to catch up and chit-chat.. She brings out a few sheets of paper.

*question mark*

So I didn't bother at first, but when she took out a pen and started talking bout some company and what not I was seriously taken aback! She even wrote like mind maps and investments plans on the paper for me..

*question mark..question mark*

And I kept thinking that she had missed me or something and had wanted to meet up. Sigh.. Assumptions got me no where. Hah.. So yes.. All I can afford through out lunch was.. "So..um...ok..hmm..aha...aha.....well...yes...ohhhh....aha...." *puts my right hand to cup my chin to look intelligent*

If my mind was plugged into the speakers, it would probably ring..

"SAVE ME!!!"

Note to self.. ASSUME NOT!
Yes.. If your curious, I would be extra careful when any of you ask me out for lunch. Don't be taken aback by my quizzical brow and my questions. =P

Your My Everything :)

2010-01-16T19:13:00.003+08:00

Find Me Here

Speak To Me

I want to feel you

I need to hear you

You are the light

That's leading me

To the place where I find peace again.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Divert

2010-01-12T14:30:00.002+08:00

I actually enjoy school semesters and now semesters at college. For one thing, it's good to have something to do rather than sitting and rotting at home. I'm taking 5 subjects this sem. Sigh.. I should be able to handle it without being suffocated by too much stress. I think. Here's to hoping. :p

I feel happier and more energized on coming back for my second semester. :) New beginnings. New feeling. =D

Well. The best diversion in the world is work, studies and a PROJECT! =D Yeap. A special project. :)

Father I Thank You.

2010-01-11T02:41:00.002+08:00

Father, I thank you
For all that You’ve done
You gave Your Son freely for me
And I praise You for calling me
Drawing me near
Out of blindness
You caused me to see

Spirit of life
You are God’s Holy Fire
You’ve kindled my heart
With Your blaze
And I know You’re refining me
Changing my life and by faith
You’re revealing Your ways

Jesus I need You
As Lord of my life
I give all I have unto You
Lord I want to come under
Your heavenly hand
And to praise You
In all that I do.

I miss camp.

Thank you Lord for bringing me back.

Thank You Father for everything.

2010-01-11T02:31:00.004+08:00

I guess there isn't much to be said. With what's happened and the impact of it all. Words no longer seem to describe it all. The pain. The heartaches. The tears. The fears. The powerlessness. Nothing seems to weigh anymore.

I've ran a long way. I've struggled. I've turned away. I've been redeemed. Thank You Lord for not letting go of my hand. Thank you for sending me family and friends. Thank you Lord for being my comfort, my strength, my guide, my light, my Saviour. All Glory be to Your Name.

2010-01-08T11:01:00.002+08:00

it exploded..

I have to say. It's calmer than expected. Too calm.

Well.. looking at the days ahead now.

I've decided. This is not it. I will make a difference!

Wondering if I should go for RBS next year.

Thanks Rachel and David for that short yet fun time playing basketball yesterday. :) You have no idea how much your company meant to me. :) Oh and Rayna too!

Ticking

2010-01-06T02:16:00.004+08:00

It sounds like a constant flow. Time. It goes on. One tick after another. Time passes.

What if I'm not waiting for time to pass?

What if I'm waiting for it to run out?

Unwillingly seeing it run out.

What happens when it finally runs out?

Sometimes. It feels like I'm handcuffed.

I can't run. I can't hide.

I'm waiting for it to stop.

And explode.

I'm just waiting...

Waiting till the ticks run out.

Waiting till I see 00:00

What comes next?

Explosions.

Loud. Painful. Wounding.

Unstoppable.

Calm after?

If only...

Turn away?

Never meeting the eyes again.

I miss it..

Those times.

It's gone now, isn't it?

Long gone.
Slipped right through my fingers.

I can only pray..

That's all I could ever do..

Ever.

2010-01-01T17:08:00.002+08:00

He is sooooooooooooo CUTE!!! XD I just became his fan! He's only 5 this year and he is Japanese. All the smart genes are with this country ain't it? sigh... I want his autograph! =P Yes.. I'm fangirling! How can you not adore such a cute little boy on a ukelele!?

Zoom Out

2010-01-01T02:10:00.003+08:00

"look at the big picture"

"there's more to this than what it seems."

"it's but a small fraction of the true masterpiece."

"you fit in with the rest of the puzzle pieces to form one."

Stop zoning in on one point. Stop focusing on that one particular issue. Stop zooming in.

Zoom out.

See the bigger picture.

And sometimes. It requires us to fully rely on God. Even if means falling into a bottomless pit. Because He catches us regardless the circumstances.

2009-12-31T00:47:00.002+08:00

Oh. Welcome 2010. Hmm.. that's fast. *looks back* I made it. :) Yeap. In one piece. Barely.. but I MADE IT. It was bumpy, rocky and tough. I'm amazed I survived. I wouldn't have changed anything. Nope. Guess those tears, heartaches and laughter made it all worth while. Note the irony.. *rolls eyes*

Who put that ugly looking mountain in front of me!? Great. More climbing. sigh...

"Life's a climb, but the view is great."

Climbing is worth while when you know you aren't the only one who is trying to get over that mountain. Thanks for the company. :)

So here I COME.

2009-12-31T00:45:00.000+08:00

i want

lash

you

2009-12-31T00:41:00.002+08:00

Someone once told me..

"if you're planning to jump down from the highest building, remember to give me a ring."
"Why? Like as if I'd let you stop me.."
"who says anything bout stopping? I was planning to witness the grand 'splash' with my camera at the ready."

Life is short. Life is precious.

LIVE while you can.

2009-12-25T00:26:00.004+08:00

Christmas isn't Christmas,

Till it happens in your heart..

How true. People go around treating it like another tradition, routine or even a holiday. What happened to the heart? Christmas is not hollies or mistletoes, huge big trees with presents or songs that has no real meaning. It's about the birth of Our Saviour. The Saviour. The only HOPE. When we realize this.. we know the real celebration. :)

Blessed Christmas everyone.

May the real and true spirit of Christmas fill your heart. :)

I..

2009-12-24T19:18:00.004+08:00

1. I like Radiohead
2. I walk up the stairs two at a time
3. I have witnessed a moshpit
4. I have experienced a moshpit
5. I once caught a fish
6. I have punched/attacked a teacher
7. I have seen someone die
8. I have made fried dough
9. I have been in a New York City taxi
10. My hair is its natural color
11. A movie had made me cry
12. A book has made me cry
13. A song has made me cry
14. I have been saved by a lifeguard
15. I am for the death penalty
16. There have been times when I seriously wished I could kill myself.
17. I know someone else who attempted suicide
18. I don’t show my emotions.
19. I am a pessimist
20. I usually have no self confidence
21. People have told me they trust me
22. There is a TV in this room
23. I am next to a window
24. I have given directions to someone in a car
25. Someone has borrowed something and not given it back yet
26. I’m a perfectionist
27. I usually try not to bring attention to myself
28. My parents want to know what I have for homework
29. We sometimes watch musicals in music class
30. I’m using a mac computer
31. I’m home alone
32. I’m an oldest child
33. I have a belt on
34. It’s studded
35. I have plans for today
36. We’re allowed to chew gum at school
37. I live for summer
38. Sometimes I act like I have OCD
39. I could people-watch all day
40. I’ve tried to be a vegetarian
41. Really skinny people annoy me
42. Lime green is an awesome color
43. I can touch my thumb to my pinkie around my wrist
44. I can know someone’s scent and know they’re near me
45. My parent(s) is a health freak
46. I try to use correct spelling/grammar on the computer
47. I know the difference between its and it’s
48. Dr. Pepper is my favorite soda
49. I can get very annoyed by happy people.
50. I wish my hair was naturally curly
51. I’m sarcastic a lot
52. I’m at least a little bit Irish
53. I don’t tell people’s secrets
54. I don’t like the name Peg
55. I’ve slipped on a banana peel
56. I’m very ticklish
57. I give people the silent treatment when I’m mad instead of fighting
58. I wear my pajama pants to school
59. Swallowing pills is difficult for me
60. I get scared in elevators
61. I’ve been in a car for 7 hours straight
62. I like going on the subway
63. I’ve seen the same movie twice in a row
64. Sometimes I wish I could get plastic surgery
65. I have fallen down the stairs
66. I prefer pools to oceans
67. I have stayed up until 2:00 doing homework the whole time
68. I’ve cried myself to sleep
69. It would almost be worth breaking a leg to use crutches
70. I’ve fainted in public
71. I hate bermuda shorts
72. Big lips are attractive
73. I like milk in my tea
74. I never wear skirts
75. My nails are fake
76. I can swear in different languages
77. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day
78. A stranger has tried to give me money
79. Lipstick is uncomfortable
80. My favorite band broke up
81. I have some friends in my neighborhood
82. I pack my own lunches for school
83. I hate words with too many consonants together
84. I’ve went three days without taking a shower
85. Laptop mouses are impossible
86. I have dropped something today
87. My away message is always up to avoid people
88. I’ve worn earphones/headphones without music to avoid people
89. People have complimented my handwriting
90. I know what aperture and shutter speed are
91. I say like a lot, even though I try not to
92. My pinkies are crooked
93. I have a sibling in college
94. I’ve danced in the rain before
95. I know who wrote Great Expectations
96. I don’t know how to do the laundry
97. I hate doing the dishes
98. I make index cards for school even when they’re not required
99. I love making microwave s’mores
100. I have meditated before

Foie Gras

2009-12-22T18:08:00.003+08:00

Sounds so sophisticated and it looks delicious doesn't it? But do you know how this is produced and how inhumane the breeders actually are? Read it. I haven't tried this before and I never will. Yuck!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foie_gras

Of Rags and Riches (CU Camp '09)

2009-12-22T11:46:00.005+08:00

God of the poor

Friend of the weak

Give us compassion we pray

Melt our cold hearts

Let tears fall like rain

Come, change our love

From a spark to a flame

Coming back to camp again was a little different for me. Well. The timetable is different. We started on the same day we cleaned up the entire place. It was extra tiring for us. But it was well worth it. :)

I agree with what Jean said. Camp is like our haven from all the distractions and everything else. No phones, no computers, no TVs, no MP3s and iPods; just purely learning God's word and bonding with fellow girls. :)

Taking on the role as the main group leader was a new challenge to me, but thanks to these 2, I breezed through it. :) Thanks Jean and Jolene for being awesome sub-group leaders. It's funny. We're the only 3 that stays together nearly all the time, the other group leaders don't mingle as much the 3 of us do. Haha.. but it was good getting to know these 2. We really stuck by each other and we made it through the Camp Concert without much problems except for the slight glitch of my supposed absence, but oh well. WE MADE IT! XD

I was trying to sleep..

Jean, Me and Jolene :)

Our group name was Storge. Pronounce as Stor-gehh. As usual, my group always gets the ones that is kinda hard to pronounce. We got nicknames like StorAge, Stor-Gay, Taugeh, Stalking, Storing. ;( Storge is one of the 4 Greek words of love, it means affectionate love. The 2 sub-group names were Rachel (Jolene's) and Sarah (Jean's).

Ain't the tag nice?? :)

Thanks Jean and Jolene for the hard work and effort!

This years' theme centers around social concerns like
Respect (for other people, races, religion),
Racism,
Riches (material wants), and
Relationships and also
LOVE.

My group was awesome. We were terrible as a team on the first day, but we improved as the days passed. Yes. We got the best improvement award. Lol! And between you and me.. every year, my group always gets 'best improvement' without fail, yeap.. I have a thing for starting off terribly and ending it with a BANG. :)

Both sub-groups brainstorming for a paper drum game.

I merely hopped from one group to the other.

I learnt a lot from this camp and I think I got touched in so many different ways. By God, by the workshop leaders, by the camp personnel, by my 2 sub-group leaders and other leaders and by my group. It was a blessing to be at camp again.

I especially like the songs I learnt. Our camp hymn is Beauty For Brokenness. The lyrics was spot on. Our camp chorus was my next favorite, Love the Lord your God. But I have to say my fav song was Father I thank you. :) My voice is still very ‘sexy’ now. When you’re a group leader you tend to develop sore throats, coughs and what not. I sound like a croaking frog now. :P Well.. that’s all for camp. More pictures are on facebook. :)

Plaster of Paris hobby. :) I made a COW! =D

My shoulders were aching after games.

That's Ji'Anne on the left, Jo'Anne in the front and

Jean Anne on the right. Oh and me in purple. :)

These 3 are the 'Ants' (heng sisters).

Jia Anne is missing..

some of the little ones in our group. Yu ling, Enuice, Celine and Jane.

Thank you Lord for bringing me back to camp! =]

2009-12-22T11:32:00.001+08:00

I guess Ideal is not the right word. Perfectly imperfect would be the better way to call them.

Happy Birthday Mel! :)

2009-12-21T00:58:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday! :) Hahaha! You can finally open your birthday present now. ;)

May God continue to bless and be with you. Uni is starting again for you and I hope that it will be another memorable milestone for you. It has really been fun getting to know you. Thanks for always lending me a listening ear. :) Hope you'll have a blast today. *Hugz*

Here's to you.

2009-12-21T00:10:00.002+08:00

Probably I'm not the first to say it. Probably you would have heard it before. I am older than you but I am truly sadden by this. I can't stop thinking about what you told me. If I were you, I would have broken down so many times. Your stronger than you think and I have to say, this matter is very grave.

Your talented, pretty and really so loveable. You are worth so much more than that. Don't loose hope and never loose heart. I won't lie. It's not easy. It's very hard. Painful? Yes,very. But.. as painful as it is, it will pass. The worst will pass. Believe me. I've had my share and I'm still facing with my own problems. You'll get by just as I did. :)

We can't help asking god why such things would happen because we're only human. And because we're human enough it is why we need to rely on God. I wish I can be there to give you a hug whenever you feel like your being jabbed all over. Don't try to think or understand how it happened or why it ever did happen. Leave that to God. Just remember that whatever it is, He won't ever leave you.

Even when you feel your all alone, remember that we're all in that together too. If ever you need me, just call or sms or even e-mail me. I'll answer straight. Don't face it alone. I know your struggling to smile, struggling to be okay. I see your effort and I see your motives. But remember that you can and should have your human moments. I know that you probably won't get to read this but.. this is really my wish for you.

Hang in there. Dark clouds will pass and the sun has to shine. :) Remember that. :)

Lots of love,
Carmen.

2009-12-20T14:02:00.002+08:00

It's good to be home. :)

But.. I miss camp. sigh........ I miss my two right hand women.

CU Camp,
Your warm welcome beckons me,
CU Camp,
So happy and joyful are we..

Updates and pictures are coming up! :)

Unashamed, Starfield ♥

2009-12-07T19:56:00.002+08:00

I have not much
To offer You
Not near what You deserve
But still I come
Because Your cross
Has placed in me my worth

Oh, Christ my King
Of sympathy
Whose wounds secure my peace
Your grace extends
To call me friend
Your mercy sets me free

And I know I'm weak
I know I'm unworthy
To call upon Your name
But because of grace
Because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed

I can't explain This kind of love
I'm humbled and amazed
That You'd come down
From heavens heights
And greet me face to face

Here I am at Your feet
In my brokeness complete

Stranger.

2009-12-05T12:44:00.003+08:00

I really wonder. I really marvel at the fact that I can fit in at such a place as this. Not that I am not capable or whatever.. it's just so funny. So different. So very very different. I am me. They are they. There is such a distinct line. I'm sure it's visible.. but no one seems to care. Lucky me?

Hmm.. It's like their stuck on to me. So very often my thoughts and ideas seems to oppose theirs. It's like I'm running on a different frequency. The most obvious difference is the language. I'm on one and them the other. Not that I can't speak theirs nor they mine.. it's just that I feel I can't seem to really connect. More than that, I don't feel intellectually stimulated.

I can go anywhere. With them. On my on. I can do both. Just that.. I don't feel a sense of belonging. Months has gone by, used to the environment? Yes. Used to the food? Pretty much. Used to the people? Kinda. Not really being me. I feel like I had back-slide. Not because I'm arrogant, but because I'm just a stranger I guess.

Strange as it is.. I am just not part of this place. Am I lonely? I can't lie. Though not all the time.. just sometimes. :) Am I unhappy? Can't say that I am either. Hmm.. strange isn't it?

Buzzin'

2009-12-03T19:03:00.002+08:00

I always wondered. Why does the saying go, "Busy as a bee?" Why can't it be busy as an ant or beaver or squirrel? Hmmm... Well I don't like bees. I'm afraid of them. I always imagine one flying in my direction with its stinger aiming to pierce through my skin. *shivers*

But be it a bee or an ant or whatever animal it is.. I like being busy. :) It keeps me occupied at least. Though it means I'm being compared to that unfriendly insect. I miss being in MCKL. I miss running around the entire college. I miss all the SC meetings and mostly the workload. I know. I'm really insane. But those things kept alive. It kept me moving. It gave me a rush of all sorts of feelings. Happy and satisfying feelings at least.

I miss it all indeed. :( I miss more than anything.. the people. Well not all.. but most of them. I don't know why, but I felt so alive in the 1.5 years I had there. Now. Hmm.. slow paced and lifeless. No running. No rush. No feeling.

Even with the assingments I had for the past few weeks. Nothing. Absolutely nothing... sigh.... Another 8 sems to go.

Stop.Stare.Wait.

2009-11-25T23:06:00.008+08:00

It comes.

Once in a while.

You just need to stop.
When everything

seems to be moving

in all sorts of directions around you,

you just need to stop.

Stay still amongst the busiest crowds.

I stopped. I stopped today.

Motionless.

Stationary.

Still.

I was motionless.

I was unmoved.

One went pass..

and another..
and another..

and another.

I remained as I was.

I stared at the moving images before me..

It felt like I frozed into non-existance.

The clouds pass by me..

taking it's shape into something new.

Dark clouds. I saw them come.

Did turn the sky grey as well?

I was sure rain is coming.
I felt rain had already hit anyway.
So heavy. So heavy.
Then it just stopped. Restrained.

Another came.

Do I go? Do I move?

Reluctantly.

Heart heavy and

mind uptight.

I walked..

Forwards..

Back to reality.

Time to get off that chair.

'Horror-skoop'

2009-11-10T23:58:00.003+08:00

The thing about Psychology subjects is..
you don't actually feel mentally stimulated..
you actually fall asleep.
I wonder why?

I blame Johnny for this.
Pun intended.
=p

I spent time with a Libra today.
Libras don't go with Pisces.
I dunno. The 'Horror-skoop' said so..
So what are we doing sitting next to each other?
Irony ke?

Or is it some greater forces of attraction at work ke?
Hmm..tak tahu la.. I wanna sleep.

tick tock tick tock...
the mouse has long gone
I'm still here...... next to you.
Some funky "RAM-DEERRR-WALLL" attraction kut.

"eh.. go makan la."
"can. but I'm pretty broke."
"you watch me eat can?"
"so mean.." *merajuk*

pisces don't go along with libras wad.
it's written in the horror-skoop.

Super-nya.
Ya la.
Me and you.. you and me..
We go against the flow.
Ya man.. No joke.

Wonder why
Wonder how
Why do I feel like I know you Libra?
Maybe I'm not a pisces after all..

Funny.
You seem to know me too
Sekali we're both some funky 'horror-skoop'
But wouldn't it be lovely? :)

talk.sleep.eat.drink.
I like that very much.
Jumpa la lagi. :)

We'll go walk to the places you like,
We'll sit in silence
Look at the sky
And wonder why we ever bothered
if we were pisces or libra.

One PSY 105 class is worth while if I have you Libra. :)
Don't fall off the platform next time I see you..
Balance!

Beauty For Brokenness

2009-11-08T01:40:00.003+08:00

I was touched by this song. :) If's there's anything or anyone that can fill a whole, it's definitely JESUS. :)

Beauty for brokenness,
Hope for despair,
Lord, in your suffering world,
This is our prayer,
Bread for the children,
Justice, joy, peace,
Sunrise to sunset,
Your kingdom increase!

"Come, change our love,

From a spark to a flame.."

To sum it ALLLLLLLLLL up..

2009-11-08T00:27:00.003+08:00

My week was unusually packed. No..not packed as in busy and tight (ok..fine..it was packed ;p) but more like packed with all sorts of feelings and little things to smile, laugh and cry about.

Monday
Spent it doing my assignment. At the end of the day.. I still couldn't finish it! T_T Oh well, it's due on Friday. :p

Tuesday
Classes from 8 to 6. Hmmm...nothing out of the ordinary here too.

Wednesday
Went for Jennifer's body. Gave myself a real scare watching that. Note to self. DO NOT SAY YES TO ANYMORE HORROR MOVIES! Yeap, rock climbing for me as usual. Except..'someone' ditched again. Hmph. Ended up climbing with 3 other guys. Where are the girls when you need some company? sigh...

Thursday
Hehehehehe! Class ended at 10! We were off for lunch at Tropicana City, then we went to the arcade to play Daytona/Datona/Deitona (whichever it is) and the ice-hockey-puck-looking-thing-on-the-super-slippery-table (what is it called?? @_@ ).

After that, I headed to 1U to meet Mel (the-one-who-ditched-me-yesterday :P). We had a game of pool. I nearly rolled on the floor laughing. ;p Then we went for Time Traveller's Wife. I cried. She didn't. Unsual-nya.

It was my mom's birthday as well. Well, turns out that no one planned anything. So we didn't eat out and guess what? the birthday girl stayed in bed for the rest of night with a really bad migrain while I stayed in front of the PC till 3 plus doing my PDA. Sad case.

Friday
Woke up with my eyes barely open. Went to college, slept at the DSA till 9 and headed straight to work. Finally finished my assignment around 12 plus and ended up waiting for a friend who was still doing it till 2. Didn't have breakfast..I even skipped lunch too. Tiring tiring day indeed.

Reached home round 6. Used the PC for a while and headed for my bed before I collapsed. Then I got a phone call. "get dressed. we're going for dinner.get ready." sigh.. I had to leave my beauty sleep, no no..my much needed sleep for dinner. Well dinner was great actually. Food was awesome and wine was awesome. House of Tangs is really good! :)

THE BEST PART IS THIS:.......

My dad and I are like in good terms again. :) We are talked the entire night and we laughed about things. Yeap, definitely the highlight of my week. :) To sum it all up, we have passed the SILENT WAR. phew......glad that's over. =D

2009-11-02T00:33:00.003+08:00

There's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Really? I just can't seem to reach it though. So close yet so far. Or maybe it's been too far to be even close enough. I wonder how far more till I see light. Can I last till then or will I just stop dead in my tracks and STOP?

I wish I could just jump off and dive into the ocean. Sink in and sink deep. Where I could hear nothing, see nothing and say nothing.

Peace. Silence. Stillness.

Praise The Lord! XD

2009-10-25T12:50:00.002+08:00

Yeap! Praise The LORD! :)

I applied for the PTPTN loan about a week ago and by Friday the 23rd of Oct I would know if it was approved. So I checked it just now since mom reminded me to do so and BAMM!

It said,

Status Permohonan Pembiayaan Pendidikan PTPTN

No. Permohonan : xxxxxx

Jumlah Pembiayaan Pendidikan Yang Diluluskan : RM 48,000.00

Terima Tawaran atau Tolak Tawaran

I think I couldn't have clicked the 'terima tawaran' any quicker! :P Mom was happy, dad was..er..okay happy. I AM VERY HAPPY! =D My elder bro also got PTPTN, but his was about 24 K. I thought I wouldn't get it, but who knew? Praise the Lord! :)

Well, at least my dad doesn't need to worry bout my fees anymore. Phew~!

Smile Worthy ♥

2009-10-23T10:43:00.006+08:00

Fridays... I like Fridays! Not forgetting thursdays and wednesdays too. :) I feel happy today. So happy and giggle-ish. It's like there are no dark clouds hanging above me.. It's another lovely day. No wonder no dark clouds can come creeping on me. :) The Sun is shinning and everything is just lovely and full of song!

It's finally the 23rd. We've been plainning a surprise party for my Aunt Yin Peng and it's tonight!! WHEE!!! She's been stressed out and bogged down lately, hope this will make her smile. =D This planning goes way back to August! Geng right? My relatives from HK are here just for this. Well, my Aunt Yin Peng has done too much for everyone and she loved us so much. It's the least we can do for her.

She dresses me from head to toe since I was a baby. She still does now. Nearly all the clothes I have is bought by her. All my shoes. All my bags. Everything. Even my bed is from her! She has no children of her own but she loved me and my brothers and my cousins like her own. She really has a giving heart and she is the only other Christian in the family. Praise God for that! :) She really represents Dorcas in the Bible. :) I ♥ my aunt!

I can't help smiling today. God gave me every other reason to smile as well. The sky, the weather, everything wonderful and beautiful He carefully placed in my life. Yup. Including the wonderful family and friends He blessed me with. Amen for all that!

Smile though your heart is aching

Smile even though its breaking

When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by

If you smile through your fear and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness

Hide every trace of sadnessA

lthough a tear may be ever so near

Thats the time you must keep on trying

Smile, whats the use of crying?

You'll find that life is still worthwhile

If you just smile :)

Smile. :)

song song mood

2009-10-21T09:35:00.003+08:00

Yes.. I have been on a song song mood for about 2 months. :) Song song mood aka SSM (yea..a fantastic term created by me XD)

I think the first thing I learnt in mass comm class was the reason why a lot of people watch the movies and the dramas and also why actors back in the olden days act. Guess what the answer is???

"Escapism"

Well. Now it's for totally different reasons but yeap, that was the apparent reason last time. Same goes with singers..the better example would be poets. Duh! How can I forget Keats. One whole semester of him was enough to prove how much escape he and I needs. ;p

No matter when I'm happy or sad, angry or frustrated, powerless or hopeless, I find that talking to God helps and one more thing.. Listening to music. The right songs just seems to play. Coincidence? Maybe..maybe not. Maybe God is using the advance technology like my little ipod to tell me things. Or maybe it's haunted la. ;p But I prefer to think it's the first one. :)

For some reason, I'm very swayed by music. It's like it will effect my mood and my emotions for the day. Funny thing to be swayed by right? I'm in a SSM again. Happy or sad? Both.

Assuredly Yours by Planet Shakers is playing now. Guess what? The lyrics fit in so perfectly.. just the very things I need to hear this moment. :)

Are you in a SSM?

Your Song by Harry Connick Jr

2009-10-19T00:02:00.003+08:00

I'm not exactly Harry Connick Jr's fan but I like the way he sang this song. :) His arrangement is jazzy yet catchy and lively. Awesome tune. :)

A song to brighten up your day. :)

Stuck in the spider's web..

2009-10-17T00:27:00.004+08:00

I begin notice that I'm getting myself tangled in something really far too much for me fully grasps. What the thing about secrets that really kills you? For me, it's the keeping it a SECRET part while trying to pretend there is no secret and trying to be SANE at the same time.

I agree more and more with the phrase, "the more I know, the less I understand." The more is revealed..the more confused I get. There's so much I wish I didn't know but it so happened that everything just came right at me without a warning. It's true when they say you don't need to look for trouble..cause they'll come knocking at your door.

When someone lets you in on their secret.. your actually becoming part of it too. You are as guilty and your condoning on the matter. It's a one way ticket to that spot the moment you set foot on that train. Notice how trains will never back track? Yes, we've past the point of no return. Your trapped and tangled. Just like the feeling of being stuck in a gigantic web.

Anyone would jump into any ocean if they see their loved one drowning in it.. that's just it. You cannot sit and watch. You cannot not help. You cannot pretend that you didn't know and just walk away. You have to and need to jump in.

Bleak? I wish I knew how to answer. I'm falling deeper and deeper and though I see a hand that intends to pull me up, I can't grab it. I can't even allow it to pull me up. Why? Because there's always somethings and someone that you'll need to protect and help. Even if it kills you. Even if it means your going against everything in the world.

Stuck... for good.

PDA

2009-10-15T00:20:00.003+08:00

Been doing a lot of thinking lately. Way too much actually. That's what you get for studying Psychology subjects.

You tend to do a lot of thinking, ponder about your life and you even tend to do a lot of soul searching and self-discovery(so Heaney!). Especially in Leadership & Life Skills class. I know I know.. what kinda subject is that right? Too bad. I must take it cause it's a pre-requisite subject.

I have to this assignment called PDA(not public display of affections..ehm ehm..), or known as Personal Development Assignment. Basically, I have to pick an area of my life and well...develope it, improve on it and become a better leader in the process. Sound like some crappy thing right?

That's what I thought at first, but I'm begining to think it's a good channel for me to do some emotional release. :) At least it keeps me sane.

In the Light...

2009-10-02T19:31:00.003+08:00

Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet

And a light unto my path...

When I feel afraid

Think I've lost my way

Still You're there right beside me

And nothing will I fear

As long as You are near

Please be near me to the end

Heading to?

That somewhere

Going to?

That direction

Walking to?

That path

Which ever place, direction or path I'm going to.. I know I'm not lost. I can't be lost. How shall I fear of the unknown when I KNOW He's here with me. How shall fear darkness when His LIGHT shines my path for me. How shall I fear the obstacles ahead when I know that He will GUIDE me.

phew~!

2009-10-01T21:04:00.002+08:00

Had my first group presentation in class today. *inhale exhale inhale exhale*

My group had present about Asian movies and mind you, it's not simple at all. At first I had lots of ideas for it but somehow, due to many factors and time constrains...those ideas were scrapped.

But it turned out okay. :) At least they laughed at my jokes and laughed when they were watching trailers. I wasn't scared, I never was. But I was afraid it'd be too dull that it'll lull people to sleep! Well thank God! Hahahahahaha!!!!!!

say it with me... "PHEW~!!" X_x

Rachel Chua :)

2009-09-27T00:02:00.015+08:00

How shall I even begin? :)

She's well... Rachel. Fun knowing such a lovely sister in Christ. Like many others, she thought me things and made me see new things. A worth while adventure indeed. :) Hahaha... so this goes to you, Boss! Happy 19th Birthday! I know you'll have a blast in Africa.

p/s: Don't kill me for the pictures below.. ;p

Ada gaya bukan?

I think this was in some 'David's' kancil. lol.. XP

I have no idea what she's trying to do..

me and pranav looks scared..haha

basket ball charity game

all the rambut 'buh-terr-baang-ann'

one of my fav pictures of her..
cute leh?

the most natural smile I've seen of her..

she'll probably say this is an ugly picture of her..

too bad..you don't get to pick!

some 'David' took this. ;p

n this is when exams were near..

so 'hung' macam CNY

N-O.. get it?

there's never a dull moment when Rach is with that some 'David'..

he'll kill me if he reads this.. ;p

see what I mean? XD

full of mor-dull-ing potential too

starbucks right after Hammy. I kinda miss it actually.

Now you know what other jobs are available for you.

Chocolate? :)

Regina the marketing kaki,

Rachel the LIB-BRA-RIAN,

Carmen... the awesome!

hahahahaha!

ini the BOSS

so gonna miss my climbing buddy :(

this is Ben. so pro! and it's his second time climbing!

Kah Kiat getting his first taste of climbing :)

The agile Mel on the wall

gaya kan?

this is Alysaa. the real pro..

SURPRISE!

Shock!HAha..well who wouldn't be if they

saw 25 candles on their 19th birthday!?

a lot of breath.. and a lot of saliva too.. :P

Thank you Mel for getting these lovely treats! :)

so farnee...this picture is like we're getting an award or something.

Eh! Mel you left your 25 candles there! haha!

not revealing anything here btw.. XP

say AHH!

the little girl who came all the way

just to sing Happy Birthday. :)

yes..we even cam whore in trains too.. :)

a perfect sunset to end the day too. :)

Happy Birthday Rach! =D

We Love You Rach! :)

Have fun in SA, we'll keep you in prayer. :)

Lone Ranger

2009-09-20T19:14:00.002+08:00

Sounds kinda cool right? I mean look at Batman, look at Superman. Look at all those heroes in the movies. Aren't they cool.

They are super strong, super humans, super this and that. They are the lone rangers. The ones who say they need no one else, the ones who say they do things alone, the one who say they can handle it without help and the ones who are always in fact the loneliest people in the world.

Heard of the song that goes.. "one is the loneliest number.." Notice how well Hollywood disguises lonely people like them? Instead of being the sad, poor souls; their the cool and mysterious heroes.

I'm kind of a lone ranger myself and when someone actually addressed me by that, it felt so totally weird. Yes.. I have to admit that it is a little depressing and pathetic too. I do things alone all the time, I enjoy some personal time and space but it's becoming ridiculously dumb and silly recently.

Yet, I can't say that whatever I did or am doing isn't by choice. What on earth am I grumbling about anyway!? I think I'm going insane.................. sigh... and I wasted an entire post on it.

forget it.......I didn't say anything...I'm really going crazy.

From shoes to masks..

2009-09-18T00:14:00.002+08:00

I put on a new shoe. They say it looks good. I put on a new shoe. It looks cool. I put on a new shoe. It feels cool. I put on a new shoe. It makes my feet ache. My feet aches. I know no pain no gain. I put on a new shoe. I can climb for hours. I wear a harness. I can go higher and higher. I wear a mask. I can act and act and act. I wear a mask. I'm the cunning little rat, the sly fox. I wear a mask. I am her not me. I wear a mask. I think I'm loosing me. I wear a mask. To be or not ot be. I wear a mask. I can say all that is needed. I wear a mask. I can fool the world. I wear a mask. I'm no better than a liar. I wear a mask... I've lost myself. I wear that mask.... He's gone for good.

The Things That Made My Monday... :)

2009-09-14T19:06:00.004+08:00

Monday monday...

So good to me,

Monday morning

It was all I hope it would be...

I used dread Mondays. Well, they don't call it Monday blues for nothing right? :) but my Monday today is a good one as the mamas and the papas put it. :)

WHY???? *grins*

Well... it's cause;

1. I woke up on the right side of bed!

2. I actually enjoyed the car ride to the station with my bro.

3. Had a good revision session with Li-Jinh.

4. Kent made me laugh. (as usual..)

5. Played badminton with Rachel, Kent and Rachel's Dad (the pastor!)

6. Laughed a lot during the game.. my skills are crappy but it's fun to play nonetheless.

7. Had a good lunch! Thank you uncle(rachel's dad) :D Nyonya food is good! :)

8. Had Rachel's company to Madmonkeyz

9. Tried on rock climbing shoes for an hour plus...

10. I GOT MYSELF A PAIR OF CRAGSDANCE!!! XD

What more can I ask for? :)

Have a lovely Monday! :)

My Safe Refuge...

2009-09-09T09:11:00.002+08:00

I will exalt You

You are my God

My hiding place

My safe refuge

My treasure, Lord, You are

My friend and King

Anointed One

Most holy

Because You're with me

I will not fear

This song always calms me. :) I will not fear anything because your with me, Lord. I know your constantly guiding me and your here to take charge of every situation. :)

Lies lies lies...penniless are they?or so we think...

2009-09-07T23:52:00.005+08:00

Lies.

There are all sorts of them. White lie. Noble Lie. Emergency Lie. Bluffing. Perjury. LIES. Is there really such a thing as noble lies? How can lies be noble? Yes, there are the exceptions in every situation.. but.. no matter what kind of lie it is.. it's still a lie. Noble or White. Even withholding the truth is as good as lying.

Maybe classifying lies is what we think seperates us from being good or bad, evil or noble. Maybe it's to convince ourselves that we did it for the greater good or we did it for the benifit of everyone. But in God's eyes.. there are no distinctions. It is what it is.

We lie all the time. I lie too. But we quickly forget about it because it doesn't weigh on us; not that I'm encouraging anyone to tell lies here.. but there are some lies, we wished we had never told.

There are some lies we wished we never kept and held the truth as a secret.

The real question is.. How far would we cross the line for ourselves or for someone? How are we facing it without guilt?

It will be bad for one person if I kept quiet.

It will hurt one person if I tell.

It will hurt everyone if I tell.

It will hurt and weigh on me the most if I tell or kept quiet.

How far am I crossing the line?

Charice Pempengco :)

2009-09-05T01:45:00.002+08:00

MUST WATCH! SHE'S PHENOMENAL!

This is the better link. :)

http://piperoo.multiply.com/video/item/23/Charisse_Pempengco_duet_with_Celin

2009-09-04T10:31:00.002+08:00

Irreparableness

I HAVE been in the meadows all the day

And gathered there the nosegay that you see

Singing within myself as bird or bee

When such do field-work on a morn of May.

But, now I look upon my flowers, decay

Has met them in my hands more fatally

Because more warmly clasped,--and sobs are free

To come instead of songs. What do you say,

Sweet counsellors, dear friends ? that I should go

Back straightway to the fields and gather more ?

Another, sooth, may do it, but not I !

My heart is very tired, my strength is low,

My hands are full of blossoms plucked before,

Held dead within them till myself shall die.

- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Yasmin Ahmad

2009-08-31T23:43:00.002+08:00

This is my favorite merdeka ad. Tan Hong Ming is cute! :)

This is a touching one. :)

Happy Merdeka~!

2009-08-31T23:06:00.003+08:00

Today was probably the most interesting Merdeka I had. BRATs had an event today and guess what the activity was?? :) We had to...........

"Vandalize" the Monorail!

It was really fun. This event was part of the Random Alphabets movement. Basically, our job was to get on to one monorail per team and decorate the interior while the train operates as usual.

You can just imagine all those shocked and dumbfounded faces when we entered the train and started pulling stickers, flags, confetti and sprays out. The passengers were really amused when they saw us running from one end of the train to the other. It was like a live show of 'orang gila doing benda gila' as my friend put it.

We all had our own jobs and mine was to distribute mini flags and stickers. Some gave me weird stares but some gave me huge grins. It was especially sweet when the children waved the flag and said Merdeka like it meant more than just something we'd shout. "Hi! Have a flag! Happy Merdeka!" I must have sounded like a recording machine. lol!

Every time the door opens, we would be shouting Merdeka till the door closes. That even made some passengers contemplate if they should actually get on! ;p It was really a priceless experience we all had today! What a random way to spend my Merdeka. :)

Day 1

2009-08-25T14:27:00.002+08:00

It's ok so far. Doesn't really feel too different from college other than the environment and the people. I miss MCKL only for the people. sigh..they made my 1.5 years really lovely. Ok. Fine.. not all but most of them. :) (you know who you are..)

Went for my first lecture on Social and Business Communication. it sounds hard but apparently it isn't. There's alot of group project involved and an individual orlal presentation before the finals. Well it's called communications after all. Sounds fun to me. :)

Food is definitely better here. There's so much variety! There's a lot of varierty in prices too! ;p But I spend a lot on transport everyday. 2.40 from p.jaya to jamek. Then 1.30 to central and finally 2 for the bus to damansara. That's just one way! Need to get those monthly passes and a touch n' go.

Okay..have to go for class again. :) Bye! Oh and.. I can finally call myself a uni student. Fu yoh!

Sigh... I want a picnic! :)

An end

2009-08-21T08:45:00.002+08:00

Yeap.. saying goodbye is a good way to end things, leaving the place is another way to end things and getting my results yesterday is also an end to this chapter.

Did I do well you'll ask? Hmm..not really. I think I could have done better but oh wells..no point going on about the 'coulda', shoulda', 'woulda'. God is always humorous. Econs is normally my worse subject but I end up getting the best marks for it.. AGAIN.

Econs is a 'B'. Law and Lit is a 'C'. Apparently law and lit subjects has the lowest grades. Just lovely.. and I had to take both the subjects. Sigh... but these two were the best subjects I've taken since spm. I enjoy Lit and Law so much! Challenging, thought provoking and life changing. :)

Results..it made me feel like the chapter has really closed. Yeap. It's like I see a "That's all there is, there isn't anymore." line appearing on the screen right before the "The End" line pops up.

Ms Betsy is so happy with my results. Now that's a first. lol! Mrs Dharma was very supportive while (Ms) Mel cheered me up with her company for the rest of the day! :)

We went to bolder at Camp 5. Then we caught Up! It's so sweet and meaningful. The music fits perfectly! A really hopeful piece. That movie really made my downs up. Nothing like climbing and a good movie to make my miserable day memorable. I'll watch again with my lil' bro and cousins. :)

P/S :
Thanks Jen for all the encouragement. :) Haha..I'll be disturbing you again at HELP.

Thanks Regina, Ms Angeline, Ms Grace and Mrs Dharma for the encouragement as well. :) Good to see all of you again. :)

Thanks Rach, Kai Li and Li-Sha for checking up on me and for making me laugh though I really wanted to cry. Oh and JLing for trying to convince me that he's Shonna. :)

Thanks Mel for cheering me up and making my miserable day memorable and fun. Thanks for the movie too! :) I had fun. :)

Above all.. Thank you Lord for good and bad results and for all these wonderful people you had brought into my life. They are lovely and a real GEM! Bless them and keep them safe. AMEN! :)

Get going..

2009-08-20T09:39:00.002+08:00

The night before Orientation Day, scared or excited I was pretty prepared to start another chapter of my life. Then God sent me message while I did my devotion. Get going.. aim higher.. push the boundaries further out.. pursue for more.. pursue a better relationship with God.. and live to glorify His name.

I don't know why, but I feel like I'll be fine. :) I know that I'm not walking ahead without Him and that is so comforting. When I closed in prayer, I don't know why something made me say, "Lord, teach me and open up my heart to embrace the new and all that's out there for me and at the same time cherish the old."

It kinda made me realize that I was still a little reluctant to move on. How I'll miss the people and the memories we made. I always feel sentimental when I have to move on. Feels a little heavy hearted.

Orientation was okay. HELP is really something different. Too many procedures to go through as well. But what really made my day yesterday was an sms from a special friend. "Gd morning. 2day is ur orientation rite? All the best. I'm willing to become ur audience when u r sad..good luck.take care. :) " Not forgetting others who also messaged. :)

Managed to go through the entire day without much problem. Made a lot of new friends and met up with the old ones too. :)

sigh... now my biggest worry is the results.sigh!

2009-08-18T01:36:00.002+08:00

I think this one of those days that I thank God so much for calling me His daughter. :) How he watches over every detail and how he cares for me. :)

Thank you Lord for everything! :) More importantly..

Thank you for picking me up on my feet again. :)