Old Friend :)

I went to visit an old friend today. It’s been 7 years since I did. There’s just so much about my life which I really wanted to tell her, even the tiniest detail. Something did separate the both of us and ever since then I didn’t look for her again. I hastily moved on, trying to forget she had meant so much more than a friend but as a dear sister. She’s one of those that can see me through and through. She never fails to know what’s on my mind and she just always knows when I need a hug or a listening ear or even something to cheer me up.

There’s no need to neither say nor emphasize why we parted ways, it’s no longer important anyway. I met her way back when we were kids and have been close to her since then. She was considered my first best friend. Sometimes when I look at her I realize she is always the one that will help me out of sticky situations and even stupid ones but what did I ever do for this friend? Did I ever do something for her before? Was I even accountable for her? Such questions kept swirling in my head. Come to think of it... I don't even have a picture of me and her together. Oh, well... I'll just picture it in my head then.

When I saw her, the tears just suddenly weld up. She sure would whack me on the head and say “Silly! What are you crying about?” In the end, I can’t keep them in any longer and just let it flow out as I spoke. I spent as much time with her as I could and told her as much as I could. She’s the type that would smile and listen to me mumble through my conversation without interruption. I told her about my family, my uncles and aunties on both sides and my grandparents, church, my secondary school years, the two best friends God blessed me with, my UPSR, PMR and SPM results along with all the reactions I had for each, my all so long winded love life, the college I’m studying in and the new and nice friends I’ve made, my youngest uncle getting married and more than anything about myself.

I bet she would have guessed that I’m interested in Psychology and would most probably go for it after my A-Levels. She would most probably either go for engineering or Mas Comm or maybe medicine. In telling her all the good news, I had wanted to skip the bad ones but I did tell her in the end as well. Its funny when I do tell her things like that, it’s like I’m being made fine again. I told her just so much today… even the stupid little arguments I had with my family and with my friends.

She has her way of encouraging me like she always used to last time and one of the things she’ll always tell me is “It’s okay, don’t give up. Sometimes when we try too hard we will only make things worst, so just let things be and somehow it’ll work out. It might take a while but it will work out. It’s okay not to understand why. It’s Daddy’s way of making us grow stronger and wiser. When you feel you don’t know what to do or don’t know what to say just tell Daddy and He’ll help you. Don’t corner yourself because of one mistake or even a lot of mistakes. Don’t always put others before you and worry about them till you forgot about yourself. When we do something wrong just say sorry to Daddy and ask Him to help you to find a way to tell that person sorry as well. Come on, smile… It’s alright. It’s going to be okay… and remember, keep going! Work hard for what you want and never give up.”

She’s always very mature even when she was only 11. Sometimes I wonder if she feels like she’s talking to a kid when she talks to me. Those words never did make much sense to me then as it does now. Despite all the problems and heaviness in me, what she said made me feel lighter and the sense that I can finally put down some of the heavy baggage I carried with me. I did hesitate a lot whether I should visit this old friend but in the end I did and I’m ever so glad for it.

As I walked away from that reunion, I turned back to look at her with a smile. I knew she did smile back at me too… and some part of me knew that she whispered me another encouragement as I went off. It’s truly bitter sweet but I’m really happy that God allowed me this short but sweet reunion. As I walked further and further away I stopped and I looked up at the sky thanking Him for this and everything else but most importantly for this wonderful old friend. Thank you Lord for allowing our paths to have met :)


I’ll miss you…and you’ll always be in my heart, now and forever.