Stuck in the spider's web..

I begin notice that I'm getting myself tangled in something really far too much for me fully grasps. What the thing about secrets that really kills you? For me, it's the keeping it a SECRET part while trying to pretend there is no secret and trying to be SANE at the same time.

I agree more and more with the phrase, "the more I know, the less I understand." The more is revealed..the more confused I get. There's so much I wish I didn't know but it so happened that everything just came right at me without a warning. It's true when they say you don't need to look for trouble..cause they'll come knocking at your door.

When someone lets you in on their secret.. your actually becoming part of it too. You are as guilty and your condoning on the matter. It's a one way ticket to that spot the moment you set foot on that train. Notice how trains will never back track? Yes, we've past the point of no return. Your trapped and tangled. Just like the feeling of being stuck in a gigantic web.

Anyone would jump into any ocean if they see their loved one drowning in it.. that's just it. You cannot sit and watch. You cannot not help. You cannot pretend that you didn't know and just walk away. You have to and need to jump in.

Bleak? I wish I knew how to answer. I'm falling deeper and deeper and though I see a hand that intends to pull me up, I can't grab it. I can't even allow it to pull me up. Why? Because there's always somethings and someone that you'll need to protect and help. Even if it kills you. Even if it means your going against everything in the world.



Stuck... for good.