I guess Ideal is not the right word. Perfectly imperfect would be the better way to call them.

Happy Birthday Mel! :)

Happy Birthday! :) Hahaha! You can finally open your birthday present now. ;)

May God continue to bless and be with you. Uni is starting again for you and I hope that it will be another memorable milestone for you. It has really been fun getting to know you. Thanks for always lending me a listening ear. :) Hope you'll have a blast today. *Hugz*

Here's to you.

Probably I'm not the first to say it. Probably you would have heard it before. I am older than you but I am truly sadden by this. I can't stop thinking about what you told me. If I were you, I would have broken down so many times. Your stronger than you think and I have to say, this matter is very grave.

Your talented, pretty and really so loveable. You are worth so much more than that. Don't loose hope and never loose heart. I won't lie. It's not easy. It's very hard. Painful? Yes,very. But.. as painful as it is, it will pass. The worst will pass. Believe me. I've had my share and I'm still facing with my own problems. You'll get by just as I did. :)

We can't help asking god why such things would happen because we're only human. And because we're human enough it is why we need to rely on God. I wish I can be there to give you a hug whenever you feel like your being jabbed all over. Don't try to think or understand how it happened or why it ever did happen. Leave that to God. Just remember that whatever it is, He won't ever leave you.

Even when you feel your all alone, remember that we're all in that together too. If ever you need me, just call or sms or even e-mail me. I'll answer straight. Don't face it alone. I know your struggling to smile, struggling to be okay. I see your effort and I see your motives. But remember that you can and should have your human moments. I know that you probably won't get to read this but.. this is really my wish for you.

Hang in there. Dark clouds will pass and the sun has to shine. :) Remember that. :)


Lots of love,
Carmen.

It's good to be home. :)

But.. I miss camp. sigh........ I miss my two right hand women.


CU Camp,
Your warm welcome beckons me,
CU Camp,
So happy and joyful are we..


Updates and pictures are coming up! :)

Unashamed, Starfield ♥

I have not much
To offer You
Not near what You deserve
But still I come
Because Your cross
Has placed in me my worth

Oh, Christ my King
Of sympathy
Whose wounds secure my peace
Your grace extends
To call me friend
Your mercy sets me free

And I know I'm weak
I know I'm unworthy
To call upon Your name
But because of grace
Because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed

I can't explain This kind of love
I'm humbled and amazed
That You'd come down
From heavens heights
And greet me face to face

Here I am at Your feet
In my brokeness complete

Stranger.

I really wonder. I really marvel at the fact that I can fit in at such a place as this. Not that I am not capable or whatever.. it's just so funny. So different. So very very different. I am me. They are they. There is such a distinct line. I'm sure it's visible.. but no one seems to care. Lucky me?

Hmm.. It's like their stuck on to me. So very often my thoughts and ideas seems to oppose theirs. It's like I'm running on a different frequency. The most obvious difference is the language. I'm on one and them the other. Not that I can't speak theirs nor they mine.. it's just that I feel I can't seem to really connect. More than that, I don't feel intellectually stimulated.

I can go anywhere. With them. On my on. I can do both. Just that.. I don't feel a sense of belonging. Months has gone by, used to the environment? Yes. Used to the food? Pretty much. Used to the people? Kinda. Not really being me. I feel like I had back-slide. Not because I'm arrogant, but because I'm just a stranger I guess.

Strange as it is.. I am just not part of this place. Am I lonely? I can't lie. Though not all the time.. just sometimes. :) Am I unhappy? Can't say that I am either. Hmm.. strange isn't it?

Buzzin'

I always wondered. Why does the saying go, "Busy as a bee?" Why can't it be busy as an ant or beaver or squirrel? Hmmm... Well I don't like bees. I'm afraid of them. I always imagine one flying in my direction with its stinger aiming to pierce through my skin. *shivers*

But be it a bee or an ant or whatever animal it is.. I like being busy. :) It keeps me occupied at least. Though it means I'm being compared to that unfriendly insect. I miss being in MCKL. I miss running around the entire college. I miss all the SC meetings and mostly the workload. I know. I'm really insane. But those things kept alive. It kept me moving. It gave me a rush of all sorts of feelings. Happy and satisfying feelings at least.

I miss it all indeed. :( I miss more than anything.. the people. Well not all.. but most of them. I don't know why, but I felt so alive in the 1.5 years I had there. Now. Hmm.. slow paced and lifeless. No running. No rush. No feeling.

Even with the assingments I had for the past few weeks. Nothing. Absolutely nothing... sigh.... Another 8 sems to go.