Broken Dishes...

This is the 4th chapter from the book Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood that I'm currently studying for Literature. It's not exactly a very exciting book but it's somehow mysterious and sad which I kinda like. Don't get me wrong.. I'm not a pessimist or something it's just that I like stories with a lot of er..er.. 'heart felt'??

Broken dishes..what does that mean to you?? What can you associate it with?? For me, I can associate it with some parts of my life. I think at the sight of the word broken, it's enough to make one think of something depressing and sad. Nope, it's not like my life is broken or fragmented but there are some parts of me which is wounded and to certain extent..broken and without spirit. It's no big deal nor is it something very grave but for me it's some what broken and scarred.

Constantly there's always this depressing feeling mounting up within me. I can't explain it nor can I try to breakfree from it. Most of the people that knows me, knows that I'm a happy person and easy going as they would say and it's true..I am. But I guess even the happiest man alive will have his sad moments. "It's okay to be moody sometimes.." this is what Jane told me back in school. I remember it clearly..she was smiling at me and patted my back when she said it, that was very encouraging.

Maybe I'm just being a teenager, getting emo and depressed out of the blue. The feeling that I often get when I'm depressed is like my heart is so heavy, it's bleeding silently and there's so much burden across my chest. Like I could break down this moment and cry my eyes out. I tend to say I'm a simple person but I guess I'm so wrong about that. I think I'm one of the most complicated creature amongst my two best friends. There's just so much in my mind that I can think of as I let my thoughts walk aimlessly.

The simplest thing..I can view it and define it with the most long and complicated answer. It's not really a talent that I have..it's just being me. *sigh* I wish I can be simpler... here I go again contrasting my words..hahaha.. guess this is the Internal War within me. Well..as depressing as I may sound and as sad this post may seem...I'm good. Not going to commit suicide or try to go into a depression. It's just I needed a place, a refuge to express the uncertain emotions in me. Too bad bloggy..your all I have sometimes..

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication"

~Leornardo da Vinci~