Oh. Welcome 2010. Hmm.. that's fast. *looks back* I made it. :) Yeap. In one piece. Barely.. but I MADE IT. It was bumpy, rocky and tough. I'm amazed I survived. I wouldn't have changed anything. Nope. Guess those tears, heartaches and laughter made it all worth while. Note the irony.. *rolls eyes*

Who put that ugly looking mountain in front of me!? Great. More climbing. sigh...

"Life's a climb, but the view is great."

Climbing is worth while when you know you aren't the only one who is trying to get over that mountain. Thanks for the company. :)


So here I COME.

i want

to

lash

my

a

n

g

e

r

at

you

Someone once told me..

"if you're planning to jump down from the highest building, remember to give me a ring."
"Why? Like as if I'd let you stop me.."
"who says anything bout stopping? I was planning to witness the grand 'splash' with my camera at the ready."

Life is short. Life is precious.

LIVE while you can.

Christmas isn't Christmas,

Till it happens in your heart..

How true. People go around treating it like another tradition, routine or even a holiday. What happened to the heart? Christmas is not hollies or mistletoes, huge big trees with presents or songs that has no real meaning. It's about the birth of Our Saviour. The Saviour. The only HOPE. When we realize this.. we know the real celebration. :)

Blessed Christmas everyone.

May the real and true spirit of Christmas fill your heart. :)

I..

1. I like Radiohead
2. I walk up the stairs two at a time
3. I have witnessed a moshpit
4. I have experienced a moshpit
5. I once caught a fish
6. I have punched/attacked a teacher
7. I have seen someone die
8. I have made fried dough
9. I have been in a New York City taxi
10. My hair is its natural color
11. A movie had made me cry
12. A book has made me cry
13. A song has made me cry
14. I have been saved by a lifeguard
15. I am for the death penalty
16. There have been times when I seriously wished I could kill myself.
17. I know someone else who attempted suicide
18. I don’t show my emotions.
19. I am a pessimist
20. I usually have no self confidence
21. People have told me they trust me
22. There is a TV in this room
23. I am next to a window
24. I have given directions to someone in a car
25. Someone has borrowed something and not given it back yet
26. I’m a perfectionist
27. I usually try not to bring attention to myself
28. My parents want to know what I have for homework
29. We sometimes watch musicals in music class
30. I’m using a mac computer
31. I’m home alone
32. I’m an oldest child
33. I have a belt on
34. It’s studded
35. I have plans for today
36. We’re allowed to chew gum at school
37. I live for summer
38. Sometimes I act like I have OCD
39. I could people-watch all day
40. I’ve tried to be a vegetarian
41. Really skinny people annoy me
42. Lime green is an awesome color
43. I can touch my thumb to my pinkie around my wrist
44. I can know someone’s scent and know they’re near me
45. My parent(s) is a health freak
46. I try to use correct spelling/grammar on the computer
47. I know the difference between its and it’s
48. Dr. Pepper is my favorite soda
49. I can get very annoyed by happy people.
50. I wish my hair was naturally curly
51. I’m sarcastic a lot
52. I’m at least a little bit Irish
53. I don’t tell people’s secrets
54. I don’t like the name Peg
55. I’ve slipped on a banana peel
56. I’m very ticklish
57. I give people the silent treatment when I’m mad instead of fighting
58. I wear my pajama pants to school
59. Swallowing pills is difficult for me
60. I get scared in elevators
61. I’ve been in a car for 7 hours straight
62. I like going on the subway
63. I’ve seen the same movie twice in a row
64. Sometimes I wish I could get plastic surgery
65. I have fallen down the stairs
66. I prefer pools to oceans
67. I have stayed up until 2:00 doing homework the whole time
68. I’ve cried myself to sleep
69. It would almost be worth breaking a leg to use crutches
70. I’ve fainted in public
71. I hate bermuda shorts
72. Big lips are attractive
73. I like milk in my tea
74. I never wear skirts
75. My nails are fake
76. I can swear in different languages
77. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day
78. A stranger has tried to give me money
79. Lipstick is uncomfortable
80. My favorite band broke up
81. I have some friends in my neighborhood
82. I pack my own lunches for school
83. I hate words with too many consonants together
84. I’ve went three days without taking a shower
85. Laptop mouses are impossible
86. I have dropped something today
87. My away message is always up to avoid people
88. I’ve worn earphones/headphones without music to avoid people
89. People have complimented my handwriting
90. I know what aperture and shutter speed are
91. I say like a lot, even though I try not to
92. My pinkies are crooked
93. I have a sibling in college
94. I’ve danced in the rain before
95. I know who wrote Great Expectations
96. I don’t know how to do the laundry
97. I hate doing the dishes
98. I make index cards for school even when they’re not required
99. I love making microwave s’mores
100. I have meditated before

Foie Gras

Sounds so sophisticated and it looks delicious doesn't it? But do you know how this is produced and how inhumane the breeders actually are? Read it. I haven't tried this before and I never will. Yuck!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foie_gras

Of Rags and Riches (CU Camp '09)

God of the poor

Friend of the weak

Give us compassion we pray

Melt our cold hearts

Let tears fall like rain

Come, change our love

From a spark to a flame

Coming back to camp again was a little different for me. Well. The timetable is different. We started on the same day we cleaned up the entire place. It was extra tiring for us. But it was well worth it. :)





I agree with what Jean said. Camp is like our haven from all the distractions and everything else. No phones, no computers, no TVs, no MP3s and iPods; just purely learning God's word and bonding with fellow girls. :)

Taking on the role as the main group leader was a new challenge to me, but thanks to these 2, I breezed through it. :) Thanks Jean and Jolene for being awesome sub-group leaders. It's funny. We're the only 3 that stays together nearly all the time, the other group leaders don't mingle as much the 3 of us do. Haha.. but it was good getting to know these 2. We really stuck by each other and we made it through the Camp Concert without much problems except for the slight glitch of my supposed absence, but oh well. WE MADE IT! XD

I was trying to sleep..

Jean, Me and Jolene :)

Our group name was Storge. Pronounce as Stor-gehh. As usual, my group always gets the ones that is kinda hard to pronounce. We got nicknames like StorAge, Stor-Gay, Taugeh, Stalking, Storing. ;( Storge is one of the 4 Greek words of love, it means affectionate love. The 2 sub-group names were Rachel (Jolene's) and Sarah (Jean's).

Ain't the tag nice?? :)

Thanks Jean and Jolene for the hard work and effort!

This years' theme centers around social concerns like
Respect (for other people, races, religion),
Racism,
Riches (material wants), and
Relationships and also
LOVE.

My group was awesome. We were terrible as a team on the first day, but we improved as the days passed. Yes. We got the best improvement award. Lol! And between you and me.. every year, my group always gets 'best improvement' without fail, yeap.. I have a thing for starting off terribly and ending it with a BANG. :)

Both sub-groups brainstorming for a paper drum game.

I merely hopped from one group to the other.

I learnt a lot from this camp and I think I got touched in so many different ways. By God, by the workshop leaders, by the camp personnel, by my 2 sub-group leaders and other leaders and by my group. It was a blessing to be at camp again.

I especially like the songs I learnt. Our camp hymn is Beauty For Brokenness. The lyrics was spot on. Our camp chorus was my next favorite, Love the Lord your God. But I have to say my fav song was Father I thank you. :) My voice is still very ‘sexy’ now. When you’re a group leader you tend to develop sore throats, coughs and what not. I sound like a croaking frog now. :P Well.. that’s all for camp. More pictures are on facebook. :)

Plaster of Paris hobby. :) I made a COW! =D

My shoulders were aching after games.

That's Ji'Anne on the left, Jo'Anne in the front and

Jean Anne on the right. Oh and me in purple. :)

These 3 are the 'Ants' (heng sisters).

Jia Anne is missing..

some of the little ones in our group. Yu ling, Enuice, Celine and Jane.

Thank you Lord for bringing me back to camp! =]

I guess Ideal is not the right word. Perfectly imperfect would be the better way to call them.

Happy Birthday Mel! :)

Happy Birthday! :) Hahaha! You can finally open your birthday present now. ;)

May God continue to bless and be with you. Uni is starting again for you and I hope that it will be another memorable milestone for you. It has really been fun getting to know you. Thanks for always lending me a listening ear. :) Hope you'll have a blast today. *Hugz*

Here's to you.

Probably I'm not the first to say it. Probably you would have heard it before. I am older than you but I am truly sadden by this. I can't stop thinking about what you told me. If I were you, I would have broken down so many times. Your stronger than you think and I have to say, this matter is very grave.

Your talented, pretty and really so loveable. You are worth so much more than that. Don't loose hope and never loose heart. I won't lie. It's not easy. It's very hard. Painful? Yes,very. But.. as painful as it is, it will pass. The worst will pass. Believe me. I've had my share and I'm still facing with my own problems. You'll get by just as I did. :)

We can't help asking god why such things would happen because we're only human. And because we're human enough it is why we need to rely on God. I wish I can be there to give you a hug whenever you feel like your being jabbed all over. Don't try to think or understand how it happened or why it ever did happen. Leave that to God. Just remember that whatever it is, He won't ever leave you.

Even when you feel your all alone, remember that we're all in that together too. If ever you need me, just call or sms or even e-mail me. I'll answer straight. Don't face it alone. I know your struggling to smile, struggling to be okay. I see your effort and I see your motives. But remember that you can and should have your human moments. I know that you probably won't get to read this but.. this is really my wish for you.

Hang in there. Dark clouds will pass and the sun has to shine. :) Remember that. :)


Lots of love,
Carmen.

It's good to be home. :)

But.. I miss camp. sigh........ I miss my two right hand women.


CU Camp,
Your warm welcome beckons me,
CU Camp,
So happy and joyful are we..


Updates and pictures are coming up! :)

Unashamed, Starfield ♥

I have not much
To offer You
Not near what You deserve
But still I come
Because Your cross
Has placed in me my worth

Oh, Christ my King
Of sympathy
Whose wounds secure my peace
Your grace extends
To call me friend
Your mercy sets me free

And I know I'm weak
I know I'm unworthy
To call upon Your name
But because of grace
Because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed

I can't explain This kind of love
I'm humbled and amazed
That You'd come down
From heavens heights
And greet me face to face

Here I am at Your feet
In my brokeness complete

Stranger.

I really wonder. I really marvel at the fact that I can fit in at such a place as this. Not that I am not capable or whatever.. it's just so funny. So different. So very very different. I am me. They are they. There is such a distinct line. I'm sure it's visible.. but no one seems to care. Lucky me?

Hmm.. It's like their stuck on to me. So very often my thoughts and ideas seems to oppose theirs. It's like I'm running on a different frequency. The most obvious difference is the language. I'm on one and them the other. Not that I can't speak theirs nor they mine.. it's just that I feel I can't seem to really connect. More than that, I don't feel intellectually stimulated.

I can go anywhere. With them. On my on. I can do both. Just that.. I don't feel a sense of belonging. Months has gone by, used to the environment? Yes. Used to the food? Pretty much. Used to the people? Kinda. Not really being me. I feel like I had back-slide. Not because I'm arrogant, but because I'm just a stranger I guess.

Strange as it is.. I am just not part of this place. Am I lonely? I can't lie. Though not all the time.. just sometimes. :) Am I unhappy? Can't say that I am either. Hmm.. strange isn't it?

Buzzin'

I always wondered. Why does the saying go, "Busy as a bee?" Why can't it be busy as an ant or beaver or squirrel? Hmmm... Well I don't like bees. I'm afraid of them. I always imagine one flying in my direction with its stinger aiming to pierce through my skin. *shivers*

But be it a bee or an ant or whatever animal it is.. I like being busy. :) It keeps me occupied at least. Though it means I'm being compared to that unfriendly insect. I miss being in MCKL. I miss running around the entire college. I miss all the SC meetings and mostly the workload. I know. I'm really insane. But those things kept alive. It kept me moving. It gave me a rush of all sorts of feelings. Happy and satisfying feelings at least.

I miss it all indeed. :( I miss more than anything.. the people. Well not all.. but most of them. I don't know why, but I felt so alive in the 1.5 years I had there. Now. Hmm.. slow paced and lifeless. No running. No rush. No feeling.

Even with the assingments I had for the past few weeks. Nothing. Absolutely nothing... sigh.... Another 8 sems to go.