I realized I was staring blankly at my book and all of a sudden tears just fell like that.I'm not the type that loves to cry but there was just this heavy and sad feeling.Strange yet seemingly fimiliar to me.I just sat there crying for as long as I could remember and I couldn't stop.It just came flowing down like a really long and endless river.I looked out my window and all I could picture were two people before me.

I felt somehow relieved for a moment.But as I stared on,I saw the two figures moving further and further away.I held out my hand to try to reach them but I couldn't even get an inch close to them.Then it dawned on me that they were just a figment of my imagination.The tears kept flowing down,I kept asking myself "what am I crying about?why do feel so sad?"...I couldn't answer myself.I feel as though someone or something just ripped part of my heart out.

I sensed this heaviness since the moment I woke up...did I see some dream?Then in the corner of my mind,I saw the two figures again.I wanted to call out to them but I couldn't speak.As much as want to run forward and hold on tight to them I felt the other part of me frozen to the chair.I wanted to run after them but I couldn't and I can't....I know well enough that I can't hold on to them or even chase after them not now,not anymore.I only could stare as they slowly turned away from me and walked further and further away.

I just kept staring at them as their figure slowly gets smaller and smaller.I wouldn't look away though I know they are never turning back,still I wanted to see them until their figure totally vanishes from my sight.I know there's this path in front of me,it was meant for me and no one else.I wanted to advance ahead into the future...my future but I felt myself heavy and hesistant.I turned and took a very long look at the not too distant past.The tears stopped for a moment as I recall every single detail I could.All of it....every single memory,detail or little pieces of fragment that I could remember,I pondered at them for a very long while.

I found myself smiling as I heard the voices...those happy voices.The very voices I wanted to remember till my last breath on earth.Like an album I kept it all burried in my heart,I had to move on already.I know I need to move forward but I can't help stopping for a moment longer at the place where it all started.The place I found lost treasures and new horizons to persue.I smiled once more at it,then I walked backwards very slowly and turned away.

I stared down the two paths not too far from me,I smiled at it for a moment and slowly headed down mine.I uttered something as I walked slowly down my path,so much to say,yet none could I have the chance to tell them.I walked on and stopped for a moment as I saw before me vast lands and countless paths.Then I noticed the bridges and intersections ahead.It's still far from where I am but I'll reach it.I know that surely they will come around again...I know they will definietly come around again some where in the near future....but for now,I'll just keep walking ahead.

As I kept walking the tears came streaming down again....but this time,it's tears of joy and happiness,anticipation and anything but sadness and heaviness....

23 November 2007.......Okay so moral is down and now I'm left with erm....2!Oh..2!!!!yeah!2 more to go only but that will only end like 3rd dec...sob sob...sigh.It was very tiring this entire week,I had a break on Monday then from Tuesday till today is exams all the way.Add math on tues was okay la....made some stupid mistakes but I'll live with it,the physics the next day was okay too though everybody ended up creating their own experiments because none of us know what the question was asking hahahahaha....then chem yesterday...OMG!!!!!!!!!CHEM!but guess what it was kind of easy.but i still made mistakes la...duh I'm not perfect!!!Moral was good today!Though the moment I came out Jia Rong kept asking about the nilai....one only la...It's okay dear and your A won't go bye bye k?

The entire week was tough but it's over...hahahahaha NO MORE SCIENCES N ADD MATH!!!!!!!!!!WHEEEE!!!!!!!!I seriously wonder sometimes why on earth did I get into science when I'm going to do something from arts...hmmm?But i guess it was really educational.I learnt something extra and who knows it may come in handy one day.Pn Jasbir was so nice,my mom brought all my certs and pn Jasbir certified them on the spot for me...then yesterday Pn Lee stayed the entire day during our exam and she will wait for us after every paper to give us last minutes reminders,tips and also encouragements.Now that I think of it,my school life ain't all bad I really have some really sweet teachers,some a bit (insert words u like here...) but it's all good.

Well,it was Jia Rong's birthday on Wed n yea I tried to give her a suprise but well hahaha I got suprised instead....Anyway,HAPPY BE-LATED BIRTHDAY RONG!!!!!!!!!!love ya and thanks for everything!hehehe....finish the cake before it goes bad!well I shall leave u bloggy...me going for lunch with my parents..

tata...~

A gilmpse of me....

A glimpse of me. What about you?


1) Each player must post these rules first.
2) Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3) People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4) At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5) Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.



Here are 8 little known facts about me:

1. I have straight hair all my life.I'm growing my fringe long now....i look like my mom though now i have specs on since I was getting sooo blind.I am tall as others say but in fact not so lar...I have a pair of feet that are size 5, and yes it's supporting my 52 kg body and yes, I admit I'm a clutz...

2. I am a very serious looking but actually my head is a bit whacked and I'm super blur!I'm the sensitive type as in the type that erm..very the 'life is meaningful and full of whatever that's in it..."I like sentimental songs yes the emo ones but also can listen to abit of pop ranging from jap,korean,french,mandrine,cantonese n duh! english la...hehe...i also love to watch ANIME!!!!grey's anatomy,heroes,TVB series,and alot of other stuff excluding "XXXX".....

3. I am still a school student who is going to leave school in the matter of 3 weeks time...YEAY!!!no more uniforms!no school shoes n neat and tide hair....hahaha...and I'll be rid of Add Math,Physics and Chemistry!and also no more stupid sejarah and numbers with weird alphabets that actually doesn't make much sense...

4. I shall learn to drive after exams and hopefully drive(not kill!)....Then shall learn to bake,cook dishes,and lots more...most probably join young kl singers...hehehe....I heard they pay quite good for caroling...

5. I wanna go for psychology not because I'm psycho or need some mental care...I am perfectly well!I have no secrets like trying to conquer the world with my music or trying to force the entire galaxy to try my cooking or even becoming some Miss Whatever.but I do have secret la...I'd be stupid to tell you of course!

6. I love to eat!FOOD!!!!!!!!but I can't take food that are too sweet...i have this choking feeling and i feel goose bumps.Though the food is spicy I'll still eat it....but if it's bitter then I'll have to say....."Dad...I dunwan ar...you eat lar.."

7. I have a scar....no..I didn't get it from a gangster fight or whatever,I got it from an appendix operation.It's 2.5 inches long (no I didn't use a ruler to measure it if that's what your thinking...)The doctor told me that,n guess what triggered it..........*drum roll* 'SPRING ROLLS!'

8. I shall finally reveal one more thing.....my childhood...hahaha...yes...the old days...when I nearly tore the house down and blow up something...okay la...I threw eggs at the door like as if they were hand grenades,I drilled chalks with my aunt's electric tooth brush (no wonder she finds her toothpaste having this weird twist of taste =p),I prefer 'pooping' (if you can't understand that it means doing my business) every where but the toilet bowl,i would take ages in the shower...hehe...that's because I'm making some magic potion from all the bottles of sampoo,body wash,dettol and all the other stuff you can find in there........I shall spare you the rest...hahahaha



I tag >>>

Maybelle
Justine
Debbie
Jane
Yoe
Sam
Swee Ann
Iris

And anyone who feels like doing it :)

The Last Mile...

The last mile...the final chapter of my secondary school life...SPM!!!!!Come to think of it,this still feels surreal.On the first day,well I could say I couldn't feel a thing...yet that is.Walked into to school as usual like it was any other ordinary day,sat at my usual spot every morning before assembly with jia rong and jane and then it hit me as i saw jia rong and jane's faces...."IT'S TODAY!!!!"

Die lar....That's what I thought at first.I'm not the acedemic type so I don't exactly do very well in my exams hahaha~Thank God my mom and dad aren't the type that expects super results from me,they always say they want my best only and I think that made me pull thru' okay.Well,let's see what was on Monday again??Oh,rite..BM and sejarah paper 1.The sejarah paper was suprisingly easier than bm paper 2.Oh well....it's over anyway!Then we had english papers the next day and the most dreaded one for this week.....*drum roll* (TA-DA opening) SEJARAH paper 2!!!

The first and second structure questions were easy but whenI got to the third and fourth question...I was getting worried then when I turned to the essay questions...I wanted to cry so much.It was hard and plus that smart head of mine decided to have a head ache like an hour before the exams started which most probably is because I didn't sleep well and plus I was stuffing every single information from the book into my head during the lunch break.Whee...my paper went down the drain~When I came out from the class,jia rong was passing by.She said hey though at first I ignored her,my head was not very painful it's just that I felt drained and heavy.Sorry rong...She said hers went to the drain too and like what jane said "We're all brain dead at the moment!"

hehe...the sejarah paper really drained everything out of me...and I feel pretty stupid because I wasted the entire night 'eating' up the komanwel n pbb n oic thing...Well...IT'S OVER!!!!no more sejarah for the rest of my life!!!!!But I really wanted to cry a lot,yet I couldn't do it in front of any of my friends.I don't need to break down there,that's something I wouldn't want them to see.Thanks to Jane who cheered me up while we were waiting for our parents to pick us up I held it in..she has her way of making the worst in you feel uplifted.thanks janey!!!

Then day 3,Maths...it was okay though the smart me made some careless mistakes..hahaha...as usual I'm always careless with maths.EST was good today....and well...guess who sat next to me??????Nope!He's soooo not my crush or whatever!NOWAY!!!!him!?but I think most of you know who I meant...yup,all Andy could do was laugh.At first I thought I made a mistake when I saw the number on the table as I saw roselyn sit down,then when I turned to the back to wave at andy for no particular reason and as I turned back to the front,hahaha....he sat down.shesh...anyway,I paid no attention to him what so ever.I ran away asap after we were dismissed for break,the least I need is for him to brag about the paper,pls spare me!!

That concludes the first week of exams,I got about 6 more subjects and 3 more weeks.haizz...I can live with it...though it's add math,physics,chem and moral all right next to each other (O.o)...God please let it pass asap...I need my life back!

Amazing Grace...

I think this is a song that we are all very fimiliar with be it a christian or not. There's actually more to how this song came about. It's written by a slave trader, John Newton. There's a movie called 'Amazing Grace' and it talks about William Wilberforce (Joan Gruffudd) a man who started a campaign for antislave-trading.The movie talks about all the years he battled to free the blacks and he met with so many hardships for the blacks rights.This movie is very good and I think all should watch.It's not so much of Christianity but how this man who went a long journey for freedom today.And...Albert Finny and Micheal Gambon is in it too.... The song in this video is sung by Chris Tomlin but isn't complete, enjoy it anyway.

Amazing Grace by John Newton

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound

That sav’d a wretch like me!

I once was lost, but now am found,

Was blind, but now I see.

’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

And grace my fears reliev’d;

How precious did that grace appear,

The hour I first believ’d!

Thro’ many dangers, toils and snares,

I have already come;

’Tis grace has brought me safe thus far,

And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promis’d good to me,

His word my hope secures;

He will my shield and portion be,

As long as life endures.

Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,

And mortal life shall cease;

I shall possess, within the veil,

A life of joy and peace.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,

The sun forbear to shine;

But God, who call’d me here below,

Will be forever mine.

John New­ton, Ol­ney Hymns (Lon­don: W. Ol­i­ver, 1779)

The Gift Of Great Friends

This is something I recieved through an e-mail and I think this story is well simple but touching.Maybe some of us might be a life saver or maybe just unforgettable friends that had made his or her mark in others' lives.Fiction or not, it's a reminder to us that the little actions we do does go a long way :)

One day, when I was a freshman in high school,I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes and my heart went out to him.

So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get a life." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.

We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends and he said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends..

When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak and on graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great.

He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days.I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends...I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile."Thankfully, I was saved." My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable" I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others. "Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly." There is no beginning or end..


Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery.Today is a gift.

Graduation

As we go on, we remember, all the times we...had together,

As our lives change from whatever...We will still be...

FRIENDS FOREVER

It's graduation....Whee....I'm so happy to graduate actually can't wait to get out of school!We had a ceremony on saturday and haiyoo...the robes were so heavy and it was so hot in it.We were all suffocating but anyway it was memorable la.After the ceremony we all took alot of pictures and celebrated Haseena's birthday.It was fun that day and I'm seriously gonna miss all of them!Then yesterday...we had a Majlis Salam Restu.All the form 5 students had to line up in a row and shake every single teacher's hand one by one thanking them for teaching us (some I was reluctant to thank though..) and also apologizing to them.After that everybody went around hugging each other and a lot of them cried and we took tonnes of pictures.A lot of them Iwent to school with since form one but quite a number I went to school with for full 11 years!!!!Wow....that's seriously something I'm proud off.Me,jia rong n jane meet in form one and all three of us are very different but yet somehow we clicked and now we're inseparable!Man...I'm gonna miss them both!Make sure we spend some quality time together after SPM,My Camp n Rong's MPYO tour...promise ya u two!

From left : Me,Jane & Jia Rong

Well it's graduation after all, so we are all dressed very formally and looking our best.These are my two best friends and the two that I'll miss dearly.But I believe we'll part only to meet again,I'll take it as a very long break from the two and when we meet again...haha...It'll be something worth looking forward to.

Doesn't Jane looks like a professor???

This is Sam...I've been in the same school with her since standard 3.

This is Andrea(Andy)...hehe...she's one of the tallest I know and she might seem to be a smarty pants n all but once u get to know her,U'll find that she's a very down to earth person n crazy too...

This is my mom.I inherited her looks and well u can see that,don't u though i didn't inherit her height!haha...

This is my dad,I guess u know where I inherited my height from....haha...

This is Sharon..she's super humourous, she can turn something serious into a laughing joke...

Do we look good??

This shot was so...haha....

hehe...=D

What's so funny....???

TA - DA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cute rite.....she looks like a little girl..XD

She did it on purpose!....haha...I'm not the one that looks weird anyway...=p










Kiss me?

..^.^..

Cake...?

Aha!I caught u!

What are u looking at....?

MR PERFECT...

Another Tag.



Rules:
1. Tag victim has to come up with 8 different points about his/her perfect lover.
2. Have to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
3. Tag 8 other victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.

p/s believe what I say below

Points about the special ‘him’:


Since it stated “Special” I shall not mentioned the common ones such as, loyal, caring, honest, loving, gentleman Etc.:

1. Well...definietly a guy.A guy that would be the understanding type.He would be able to understand me even though i don't speak up.He would be someone that can say things that are my force of motivation and can make me feel comfortable to open up to.



2. Someone that treats me tenderly and would also care for others.I hate people without any compassion.He would understand that my world doesn't only revolves around him.I have many other important people in my life and I need someone that wouldn't sulk if I wanted space and time for others in my life.hehe...give me a break la!




3. He has to enjoy food like I do.hehe....I would like someone that would know what kind of food that I would like to eat but I prefer it if he slowly discovers it and allow me to discover his.I'm picky about food,so I hope he isn't,then I can give him all the food I dislike in my own dish!haha...He has to also enjoy Anime!Someone who wouldn't mind watching it with me and of course I don't mind watching something he likes as well.



4. Somebody that is not an introvet.I can't stand people who are too dull and wouldn't be able to have a long conversations or at least a proper conversation.I don't believe in one way relationships,I would talk about my life and I hope he would too.He has to be open minded and don't go jealous easily if he sees me talking to other guys.Grow up!I don't like guys immature and they have to be tolerant.I'm fussy and can be demanding...so he needs to be able to deal with me maturely..hahaha....good luck with it!




5. Someone that is organized like me.I don't want to go into his room to discover how untidy it is...He has to be someone that will be able to carry out his own responsibilities properly and wouldn't procrastinate too much.If he asks me out in date,he souldn't be late for more than 20 minutes.If he is late...then he should call.




6. Someone who wouldn't call me a gazzillion times a day!Dun so phan la!I'm not the type who would ask a full report of what he did exactly everyday,so I hate guys that would call just to tell me what they did the entire day.I don't like hearing it as much as I would hate to have to report to him like that.We can talk about things that happened but don't include all the what time I went to breakfast,when I went for lunch and who I ate with or even how many times I went to the loo....



7. He has to be a thinker like me...he has to be sporting enough when it comes to jokes,teasing and just be open and laugh about it type.He would enjoy spending time with me and my friends and don't isolate himself if we go for gatherings like that.He has to be out-spoken too...and of course be able to joke at times and can just socialize with anyone.


8. And of course what I really want to see in my ideal guy is the real him inside.I don't fall for guys that has the outside but lack the inside.I would love to discover the true beauty within him and of course he mine.He has to love me for the real me and also appreaciates the special bond between us.And also a guy who would wait for me.haha....i'm demanding rite?



I tag who ever that are willing to do it :)