Tagged by Ms Mel

50 First Reactions!

This is called 50 first reactions... Type what comes to your mind first whenever you hear these 50 words. Don't think and don't go back and change. Doesn't matter how random just type it!

1. Beer: Carlsberg

2. Food: YuMmY!!!!

3. Relationships: sweet

4. Crush: blush!

5. Power Rangers: when i was 6 ;p

6. Life: is awesome

7. The President: politics

8. Yummy: grandma's cooking!

9. Cars: Ferrari..must be red

10. Movie: Slumdog Millionaire

11. Halloween: after Ps. Vic's birthday :)

12. Sex: gender,intercourse...keep it clean...

13. Religion: God is GREAT!

14. Hate: spring onions! (AlIeNs~)

15. Fear: God

16. Marriage: VOws

17. Blondes: dumb? :p

18. Slippers: bitten by my dog.. T_T

19. Shoes: love them!

20. Asians: hard working!

21. Past time: reading

22. One night stand: not worth it

23. My cell phone: is black and orange

24. Smoke: cancer

25. Fantasy: man with wings in the air??

26. College: study

27. High school Life: Jia Rong + Ai JAne = bareable

28. Pajamas: Pink,red,blue :)

29. Stars: indescribable

30. Center: Chocolate-filled...yummylicious (copied from ms mel.. ;P)

31. Alcohol: crime rate..

32. The word love: Truth, giving, self sacrificial

33. Friends: true and the next set of important people next to family

34. Money: $.$

35. Heartache: no. 1 killer

36. Time: running out

37. Divorce: solitude

38. Dogs: my spotS!

39. Undies: comfort wear

40. Parents: i'm their only girl! :)

41. Babies: love them..they smell good!

42. Ex: don't wanna think about it..?

43. Song: Bella's Lullaby

44. Color: red and blue

45. Weddings: once in a life time

46. Pizza: ALEXIS bistro!

47. Hangout: hang me somewhere then..

48. Rest: desperate for it

49. Goal: ole~ole~ole~ole~ole

50. Inspiration: My Daddy from up above :)


Then, tag first 10 people that comes into your mind
* already tagged

Maybelle
Jane
Rachel Chua *
Athens
Krystal
Jee Wen
Regina
Annora
Caryn Tan
you.kamu.ni

It's realistic but not real

It's the truth but it's a lie

I'm friendly but I'm shy

I love you but I don't love you..

Blurring the boundaries. We discussed it in Lit just now and it got me thinking. Notice how often we say things like that. Notice how true it is as well. There's somehow never a fine line or distinction for us. We can NEVER(!) seem to even choose a side nor take a stand for that matter.
Such indecisive people!

Why??? Oh wait... I know! We're called H-U-M-A-N-S... Hamlet is a blur sometimes..sigh..

drifting in the loch
blackness, bitterness
fear, frustration
that is the game

like poles of a magnet
gravity thus attracts me
pulling and dragging
i struggle in vain

for a break
i'd quest too much
for a breathe
i'd desire by the ticking hands

deeper and deeper
knowing not strength
darker and darker
knowing not where

slower and slower
that my breathe
lower and lower
that i am

for a beam
set this ablazed
i'd be master
with liberty mine name..

Procrastinate

Yeap..been procrastinating with a lot of stuff and all of a sudden it's piling up. So much happened. Too many events going on as well! But I'm glad. By the end this coming Saturday..all events and happenings will cease and all the nagging will also cease (hopefully :p), and the world will be at peace once again! Hallelujah!

I received another offer letter yesterday, from MMU this time. The fees are scaring me. Without financial aid or a scholarship that's just gonna be another piece of useless paper. Yet again, there's this feeling welled up in me. I no longer know what to make of it. Even more frustrating than it already is! Hoping for a sign and some guidance. Lord,help me.

But anyway.. I'll leave that aside for a moment. :) My mood is too happy today to let it get spoiled by "the yesterday". Haha..I feel like laughing out loud and running around the court getting some shots. Not even the rain has dampen my spirit today. How strange. :) I can't seem to get this song outta my head as well. Strange. :)

I'll Worship at Your Throne,

Whisper my own love song,

With all my heart I'll sing,

For You my Dad and King,

I'll live for all my days,

To Put a smile on Your face,

And when we finally meet,

It'll be for eternity...

Thank you Lord, for the beautiful skies, trees,

sun and air you've given us..

I had to smile.... :)

It arrived!!!! After 2 weeks plus.. my birthday card from Jia Rong arrived. It's late but I think it picked the perfect day to arrive. :) I was strolling to the living room after I blogged and a brown parcel caught my eye. I recognized the handwriting immediately!

I opened it like a little kid anticipating and excited to see the contents. It's a really lovely card and she wrote something that made me smile. Those words, it burned into my memory making me feel so lifted and happy. Suddenly, it felt like everything was better. Results didn't bother me anymore. Even the sky and the moon looked extra radiant and beautiful tonight.

I realized how much I missed her. Thanks dear for putting a smile on my face again. Thanks for always putting a smile on my face. You made my day! :)

Love ya lots! :)

A Blessing In Disguise

My watch read 11 am as I step into Law class announcing that the result slips have arrived and is available for collection at 12. Mrs Dharma giggled her "evil laugh" and we stared at her pulling a face at her tease, she answered.. "Well this are the little perks I get being a lecturer." ehm.. ;(

The office was over flooding with students, so I had to repress all the jolts of fear and anxiety from exploding that instant to stand in line and exert....PaTiEnCe! I felt so jumpy that a tap on my shoulder would send me bolting for the ceiling!

By the time I did get the result slip I suddenly chickened out. I folded it in half and headed for the canteen. Sat down with Shonna, Kai Li and Shern Leng. They stared at the white sheet and turned to look at me as I slowly unfolded it. I stared at it for a while and placed it face down. I really didn't know what to make of it. It was er... well.. I'm not crying so that's a good sign I guess.

The only paper I didn't do well was Lit 2. Crap!!!! That was supposed to be my best paper! Yeap, God was being extremely humorous again. Got 2 Cs for econs 3 and 4 (ok la..), 2 Bs for Lit 1 and 4 (superbly contented here! :D) and a big fat...

E-li-phan-g for lit 2.

Shonna kept saying I was suppose to very happy with what I got for Lit but I felt I could have done better. sigh.. Yet I agree with what Ms Mel said, "It could be a blessing in disguise." Though we may have not gotten the results we want or we have gotten really horrible results but it maybe a blessing in disguise. God works in mysterious ways..

We may feel totally disgruntled and depressed but who knows, He'll show something in the future that'll make us look back and laugh at how silly we were to make ourselves feel so miserable. Yes.. I got over results.

Move ON!

Results are coming out. Sigh.. what should I even think about? What to expect? I feel like I need a hole to jump into. I do not want to stare at the result slip at all, let alone take a quick peek. There's alot going on in my head now.. How?

I remember feeling this way about the same time last year when SPM results were due the next day. I should have experience already, I should know how to control myself better year after year, but I can't.. I'm at point blank now. Gosh.. I hate this feeling. ARGH!!!!

But.. I know there's only one thing I can do. Pray and trust in the Lord. Hope for the best I guess. I need you Lord! Well..here's to tomorrow. Be with all of us Lord and soothe our hearts with Your everlasting peace. AMEN!! Will blog again..



Yikes! It's already tomorrow!!!! @_@ *gulps*

I feel kinda bogged down today. :( I didn't do well, nope.. Feel disppointed with myself. I should have done better. I could have done better. Sigh... I knew I looked depressed. I really tried to pull a smile but there's this stupid voice inside my head going on and on..

"you could have."

"look at you.. what are you doing?"

"don't you feel useless??"

I was on the verge of screaming but somehow or rather, I didn't. It's no big deal but it just made me dread next Thursday even more. I'm starting to tremble..

Went for treasure hunt meeting at 4:30 and I have to admit the meeting got me laughing and I realized how much I missed the student council committee. =) Thanks for putting a smile back on my face guys! Miss all of ya heaps!! :)

When I walked to the station this came to my mind.

You walked with me,

Footprints in the sand,

And helped me understand,

Where I'm going,

You walked with me,

When I was all alone,

With so much unknown,

Along the way,

Then I heard you say,

I promise you,

I'm always there,

When your heart is filled with sorrow,

And despair, I'll carry you

When you need a friend

You'll find my footprints in the sand.

This is what I hope for you.. Let go.. Slowly mend and slowly heal. You've hit rock bottom, then the only way left is up. Live an even better life. Your misery will only hurt you. Let go. :) I'll be praying for you.

When all our tears have reached the sea

Part of you will live in me

Way down deep inside my heart

The days keep coming without fail

A new wind is gonna find your sail

That's where your journey starts...

If

If freckles were lovely, and day was night,

And measles were nice and a lie warn't a lie,

Life would be delight,-

But things couldn't go right

For in such a sad plight

I wouldn't be I.

If earth was heaven, and now was hence,

And past was present, and false was true,

There might be some sense

But I'd be in suspense

For on such a pretense

You wouldn't be you.

If fear was plucky, and globes were square,

And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee

Things would seem fair,-

Yet they'd all despair,

For if here was there

We wouldn't be we.

E.E Cummings