Happy Birthday Liz. =)

Love you lots. Your a real gem.

Warning: If your day sucks and you don't wanna read about me ranting about my studies, then the 'x' button is on the top right hand corner. Have a nice day. :)

I was pretty excited to start second year. Note the word 'was'. First year was fine, kinda cool and really relaxing I have to say. Second year is actually torture and unexpectedly stressful. Yes, note the word 'stressful'.

Whoever said Mass Comm was easy, PLEASE EAT YOUR WORDS! The studying part is fine, it's the assignments and projects that are driving me up the wall. Social Psychology is actually so much harder than the first year Psych subjects. Research papers in year 2 are insane.

Ok.. all that I'm trying to say is..

"aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"

There. So MUCH better. Did I mention I have midterms this Tuesday? T_T Back to work.

"Bravery is being the only one who knows your afraid."

- Franklin P Jones

coincidentally weird

I'm absolutely in love with soundtracks! =) They make me feel really at peace.

Oh oh oh!! =) I just discovered that one of my classmate from Social Psych has a lot in common with me! No like the weirdest similarities! We are both staying in Cheras and it's hard to come by when your studying at Damansara. We both have friends in common from the weirdest places. We are both BORN IN THE SAME HOSPITAL! Weird right!?

She's super smart and really super awesome. It's really fun getting to know her. We're kinda alike in many ways and it's funny how we never crossed paths till now, we had so many chances but it just didn't happen. Guess it's not too late. You rock See Tho Wai Siong! =)

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY KAI LI!!!!!!!!! =)

Shall see you on Monday. ;)

Liz

Went to send Liz off last Saturday at the airport. I wasn't exactly looking forward to it but it was good to see her off. It's amazing how someone can really touch our lives in a matter of months. I guess when God sends us friends like these, it only takes a while for us to connect and enjoy each other's company.

I miss you Liz! :( I know your having a blast in Sheffield woman. Oh well, we part only to meet again. So I'll see you soon. =)

Nothing better. Just me, tea and a book. =)

It feels like my entire life has been going down this road. Wondering. Day dreaming. Confused. Mixed up and really messed up. Will someone please wake me up?

I wanna get..

really LOST in here.

The Climb vs The Result

Had an interesting debate over dinner yesterday. Aunty Mei Ling was going on about how nothing else matters but the end result and my brother argued that the process was equally important and all that stuff, which is true and I totally agree with him but this reminded me of my first semester in uni.

I had to take this compulsory subject from the Psych dept called Leadership and Life Skills during my first sem and our lecturer absolutely loved making us relate and share our "life experiences" in class.

I recall the day he made one of our class a debate session, and yes, the topic was about how important the end result is compared to the process or as we call it.. The CLIMB.

After the endless rebuts and arguements; Meng took his turn to the center of the stage and simply said,

"Have you heard of Miley Cyrus' song, The Climb? Well ya, I know, I know... (he quotes from the lyrics) it's not about how fast I get there.. it's not about what's on the other side, it's about.. (he gestures at the audience) THE CLIMB............ You know, it's funny. So what on earth are we doing if we aren't aiming for the end result, the ultimate goal?? No, seriously. What are you aiming for????

It's the people who can't reach the end result are those who roll down the mountain singing about the climb! If you reached the goal, you'd definitely be singing about The RESULT! So yeah, your singing .."It's all about the The Climb, bla bla bla.. it's not about how fast you get there.." cause you..well.. ROLLED off the mountain. Period."

I had to laugh at that. HAHA! Though I agree that the climb and the result is equally important, this is funny don't you think? ;P

This is for you. :) It must feel like your living in hell.. but I know you'll make it there and back. Forget what the world sees, close your eyes, take a deep breathe and just keep moving. Little by little you'll make it further than you imagined. Hang in there. You're gonna be alright. :)

The Heart of The Matter - India Arie

My Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

I've bought a computer for my home and I've found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice:

1. There is a button 'Start' but there is no 'Stop' button. I request you to please check this.

2. One doubt is, whether any 'Re-Scooter' is available in System..? Cos I find only 'Re-cycle', as I own only a scooter.

3. I recently learnt 'Microsoft Word', now I want to learn 'Microsoft Sentence'. So, when will you provide that?

4. There is 'microsoft office', but what about 'microsoft home' since I use this at home only.

5. One personal question, how is it that your name is 'Gates' but you are selling 'Windows'; instead of 'Doors'..!! Awaiting Reply.

With best regards,

Mr. Bean.

Goodness me. =P

I miss it..

Fickle Minded

First there was old England, then it was Argentina, later after that it was Germany and now... yes, N-O-W..... it's Spain.

Dang. I can't wait for the World Cup to be over cause I can't bare to choose to support another team again. Sigh.... I have loyalty issues. Dang that silly octopus! :(

It is decided....

I will switch sides and support Argentina now! =P

England... just so you know, you've taken my hopes and dashed them into pieces. You broke my heart and my voice screaming at you bunch. Not only do I need an overdose of honey and Trilex, I need to buy more lozenges too. It's over between us.. I don't want to EVER EVER remember all these disappointments. You hurt me real bad. TT_TT

It's the World Cup yo. :P

"Pliii-zing"

"Your afraid. You fear loneliness. You want so much to prove that your actually not alone. You just want to know that your never left out or never forgotten. Really badly too.."

I guess we have our reasons for pleasing different people. I admit, I do a lot of things with a motive in mind (scared of me now, aren't you? ;P) and also I do a lot of things that means me being taken advantage of. Looking at him reflects on how silly and insane I really am.

"It's not worth it!" "You know your being used.." "Are ya nuts!? Say NO!!"

I have a thing for going against my better judgement. Yeap. Still, I wonder why I never objected. It's not like the word N-O is too hard to pronounce, nor is it too hard to get off my chest. I'd like to think of myself as some saint, helping others though it's so out of the way and all. But.. It's so irksome to know that I allow it because I fear the consequences of me acting otherwise.

Gee whiz.... Where has my 'spunk' gone???

Water can KILL.

Solidarités International: Water talks from La Boite Concept on Vimeo.

This is another ad. It's pretty cool and very creative. Check it out! :)

La Boite Concept (arcade multimedia) HD from La Boite Concept on Vimeo.

gLee!

GLEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D

The songs in the season finale episode were really impressing. :) I especially like Somewhere Over the Rainbow and Faithfully. Awesome.

Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.

Blue

I think it's 3 weeks in a row already... weird. I've been wearing blue every Monday. Talk about Monday Blues.

I think stress will soon catch up since the assignments are starting to pile up. But knowing me.. haha. Last minute worker. =P

I wanna swim tomorrow! XP Oh yea..I'm finally meeting up with Ms Eunice Goh!!! =D

As expected. This semester will be pretty much 'free and easy' for me. =) 2 subjects, lots of free time and only 2 books to cram in this 7 weeks. I am contented for short semesters. For now. Not looking forward to the assignments and projects that will be pouring in soon. But anyway.. I'll be at ease. For now..

_________________________________________________________

Last week was pretty amazing. Met up with 4 different friends in total. Glad that God gave me such an opportunity to see them again. It's funny seeing some of them, especially my best friend. Aside from the hair cut and her accent, she really amazed me like she always did. She shines wherever she goes and talking to her face to face after so long really makes it feel like nothing has changed. Yes, I missed you Rong.

I spent so much time visualizing the two of us after high school; where would we be, what would we be doing, etc. funny how God has everything planned out. It's almost too surreal for me. Again, I can't thank the Lord enough for all of this.

Oh yea.. and then there was Liz. The highlight of that day was her going all lobster red from her little experiment with a mojito. lol. Epic. She was literally RED! Other than that, I really enjoyed spending time with her. She's awesome to be with. Will miss this nut so much when she goes to UK.

Met up with Mel today, we went to ease our itching hands and feet. =P Haven't been to Camp 5 for a really long time. So much changes! Nonetheless, it was fun feeling the rocks after a while. :) It's always fun chatting with her. Her perspective and thought often enlightens me and it was some what refreshing today. Glad we met up Mel! :)

So yes.. I have been doing ok thus far. More than that, I've been doing great. =)

Too soon. Looks like my first year will flash past me faster than I think. Sometimes I wonder where did all the time vanished to. One moment I'm in high school, then the next in college and now here.

But I guess it's kinda exciting. :) Yeap. Definitely.

I had a good start to a new semester yesterday. My timetable too good to be true; 2 subjects and a lot of free time! Looks like I get to bolder more often then. *grins* And more time to hang out with all long lost friends from long long ago. Bliss.

My best friend is coming home!!! =D

On another note, I finally had lunch with Jennifer. It took me 3 sems to get a hold of her. It's so good to be able to hang out with her and talk like we used to over chicken rice. We couldn't stop talking the entire time, too much details and gossip to catch up on. ;) Nonetheless, it was a good 2 hours.

Bliss. Such a sweet and consuming feeling. =)

Did I mention my best friend is coming home? =P Haha! I can't wait!

Update - random stuff

Haha.. assuming there are people who visits this blog; hey'all! I haven't had the chance to blog in a while cause well the assignment deadlines were here and plus exams just kicked start. But the silver-lining in this case is the holidays that are coming up. =D

So here's what happened recently :-

- My car (por'cheh) went to the 'beautician'. Haha.. the guy was like, "Whoa, your car has so much scratches and dents! This will take a while." Well, what do ya expect of a 14 year old junk? But mind you, my junk is a powerful junk! ;)

- First paper was Friday, Quantitative Methods aka Stats. Who knew Psychology has stats. ;P Well.. my brain was partly damaged from that. Next paper is on Monday. Gee whiz.. what am I doing here right? I think they call this de-stressing.

- Went for a camp gathering in MCKL last Sunday. It was short but really sweet.

- Study break = chauffeuring

- My dad was very random the other day, he called me just to ask me,

"Hey. I am at Sunway University now. Why didn't you study at Sunway? The place looks good and the environment is good too. Your HELP looks so old and low yaa"

"You pay for it, dad. The very nice environment and building comes with a price."

"Really?"

"HELP costs less than Sunway."

"Oh..really?"

"DUH!"

"Ok.. bye!"

lol... I have no words for this.

- My friend told me that she will not forgive me if I don't send her off at the airport. *JAW DROP*

- I just discovered that I can watch movies for free online FOR REAL. Serious!

- My best friend is coming back from the States. :)

- I boldered for 3 hours last Thursday - did 1 to 30 3 times and gave myself a lot of blisters and a pair of really sore feet.

- My dog puked on the floor I just cleaned. I nearly considered to strangle the thing.

- I haven't slept before 1 a.m. in like a really long time.

- Li-Sha left the funniest message on my Fb wall, "i dont like how u email kai li but dont email me. NOT FAIR. I LET U WATCH PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AT MY HOUSE OKAY." Sha, I still think Matthew Macfayden was the better Mr Darcy. =P

- I bumped into this counselor guy and he told me, "Your gonna be worth a lot in the market when you work." Whoa... Really?

- I have a constant urge to watch HK drama series. Addicted to them like I'm on drugs.

- I talked to Kamini on the phone till like 1 plus a.m. talking about t-tests, ANOVAs and dear Ms Winnee. How I'm gonna miss stats. Seriously!

- *knock on the door* "Come in," I said. Lo and behold, the air-cond repair guy walked into my room when I was folding my lingerie. We stared at each other for like 1 minute before we moved again. Opps? He pretended not to look and started telling me about how old and faulty my ever loyal air-cond is. All I could do was nod like a robot. My face is still burning red from that. =P

p/s: In my defence, thought it was my mom, cause I heard her voice along the corridor.

Eek.. I think that's all. =P Oh, I read this on a friend's blog and I thought it was funny. :)

I clamber into the car after tuition and find it unnaturally silent. My parents are both sitting up front, looking straight ahead, sitting like they've got stiff rods stuck up their spines. just as i'm about to crash through the window yelling "My parents are zombies!" as we pass the police station, i get a text message from my dad.

"can't talk. having a silent competition. try to get mummy to talk. i want to win."

i spent two hours, walking around in a house as silent as a tomb, talking to myself, wondering why on earth i feel like i'm the only mature one in the family at times.


oh and if you wanted to know..my dad won.
he called the house phone using my cell while we were both hiding upstairs so my mum HAD to answer the call, it went something like.

"Hello?"
"AHAHA!YOU LOOOOSE"

Have a good week everyone. :)

I think I have never had an urge to do something so bad but I didn't even move a muscle. What happened to me?

Stupidity..

I guess I won't jump off a cliff with anyone or do something insanely painful with anyone either. But I did something really stupid for you. Maybe stupid isn't the right word at all. I think the word should be heartbreaking and gut wrenching.

Is this enough?

Avoiding something is not the easiest thing to do but the most convenient shortcut. We know running away or hiding won't help solve the problem, but maybe indulging in ignorance was the only escape we saw possible.

Sometimes, we loose faith and we lack courage to face anything, it's so hard to look at trouble in the face and march against it head strong. By the time we turn around again with the intention to fight it, we loose the energy to move.

There's a saying that goes, "Your stronger than you think.." I agree. We're stronger and more powerful than we'd imagine ourselves to be, but sometimes, we crumble and we just get overpowered.

Funny thing is, no matter how much we complain, how far we run away from it or how hard we try to avoid it; we find ourselves mustering the courage we thought we had lost to put up with it day by day.

We can run away and live in a lie but we can never really bring ourselves to do it sometimes. Say all you want, but at the end of the day, we face it. And occasionally, not for ourselves but for other's sakes, we choose to stay for them and be strong for them. We owe it to them. At least that much.

I'm here for you, just as you were here for me. :)

4 times.

4 TIMES!

I literally puked my guts out. sigh.. My throats hurts from all the vomiting.

Waaaaaaaayyy back when..

I was at KL Sentral the other day with Liz. It's so funny to walk into that crowded place without anyone screaming for ice cream or fruits. Haha. I think I really miss being in MCKL. I don't know why, some silly attachment problem I think. Maybe all the psych stuff is finally getting to me. =P

So as I was waiting for my 'Por-cheh' to arrive, I saw a familiar face.

"Ms Angeline!!" I yelled ignoring the stares.

Funny thing is, she never thought me, but I enjoy talking to her somehow. She's a really cool and funny lecturer. :) Haha. She even gave me the best advice ever! "Next time, marry a rich man.." lol.

----------------------------------------------------------------------->

I have at least 25 albums plus from the 1.5 years I had in this little college. The biggest album is the one I made during the final exam period. =P Looking at them made me laugh non-stop. My friends thought I went nuts. I think our heads are so intoxicated by memories that it's like we're high on drugs every time we think back.

I think I still remember my timetable! Gosh. yeah! double lit is on Thursdays, double econs is on Wednesdays I think and Law er.. law is everyday. Pre-U is on Tuesdays, and SC meetings are everyday if an event is coming up. Talk about living in the past right?

sigh.. Such blissful memories. :) lalalalalalalalalalalala..

*glances at the clock*

1:25 a.m.

Yikes!

Jack and Jill

I miss singing nursery rhymes. :) From twinkle twinkle little stars to eency weency spider to a 100 miles to que que sara. It was fun. :)

Best part is what dad said.

Me: Jack and Jill..

Mom and Ivan: went up the hill to...

Dad: CURI RAMBUTAN.........

*sweat* Funny la!

Ignorance was bliss.

Knowledge is.. torment.

There's this eerie feeling about knowing things. Knowledge of scientific facts is enlightening, however, the knowledge of ugly truths is horrifying. It's also so sickening. Like it makes me feel that I can puke my guts out. Pungent. Cold and unfeeling.

I wonder..

I wonder.. what makes up the perfect match?

Is it the way talk to each other? the soft hushed voices, the words we use that makes no sense to others but us?

Is it the way we would look at each other? the tiny sparkles we have when we see each other, the glow of happiness we have to know we belong to one another?

Is it in the littlest things we do for each other? sweet "I'm thinking of you" sms-es or cute little drawings we did of us when it's bored in class or the fact that you would remember things for me when you know I won't?

Is it the chemistry we have? the way we click together and somehow flow on the same wave length all the time?

Is it the way we would touch? the gentle and warm hands that would weather the cold or hold me close so tenderly that it feels as though I'm fragile.

Is it the way we would constantly walk together? how you would never walk in front of me or behind me but always beside me.

Is it the way we would know just what to say to each other at the right moment? "You'll be fine.." "Your not alone.." "I'm here."

But I guess all the above is not something definite. Nope. That's not perfect.. that's nearly a fairy tale. It's not that it's impossible, it's just that it's so rare and at the same time, so unoriginal. The most perfect match I guess comes with a set of imperfections; perfection is attained when we can learn to love and tolerate each other.

"At the end of the day.. it's those imperfections, that makes us perfect for one another."

- quote from a Yasmin Ahmad commercial.

Maybe I'll find my imperfect half some day.. :)

We Are The World

Watching this video and listening to the song really sent chills down my spine. :) I think this song really amazing.

Lappy. =) RED!

Don't be decieved by the bag..

Now now... what can possibly be inside?? @.@

*gasps* Ini kah isinya!?

RED.... OOOoouuuuu.. @.@

CHUN-NESS!!

Of course a cam whore session with my lappy is a must!

Heee... =D Blissful-nya!

So 'yeng' right? =)

Thank you Aunt Yin Peng for

the awesomest present ever! =D

Awesome. :) My day was superbly and fantastically AWESOME!

I got a new LAPTOP!!!

(ok, fine.. technically I only own 1/3 of it, but hehehe..

I know I'll be the only who uses it cause I need it for college. =P)

Thank you Kelvin and Mel for tea/dinner at Delicious on Thursday. I love the presents Mel! I ♥ you!! =D And to Liz, Lynn and Kamini.. thank you, you 3 sweet angels. =) It was a real blast spending my birthday with you girls. Thank you Liz for the thoughtful gift. You made me laugh the most. =P Let's watch a movie again! Love you girls. =D

Whee.. I shall cam-whore with my lappy soon. ♥

Mile 2.0 =)

It's obvious. I've entered a new age group. Or so my friends tell me. Yeap. My 'teen' days are now officially over. *let me take a moment to ponder on those memories* =) It was bittersweet and really full of vibrant colors. :)

2 decades now. Did I grow? I think so. It feels that way. :) I feels like there are new perspectives, new ideas, new thoughts and new goals and aspirations. I think I feel kinda happy to know that I am growing older. Not because of the freedom I get, but because I feel I am being prepared to take on more of what the Lord has installed for me. BRING IT!

Most importantly, I hope I have grown stronger and tougher; emotionally and spiritually. It has been a real roller coaster ride for me. Sometimes I wonder if I can take on this journey. But God has His ways. I guess it's time to stop giving God instructions and just take His directions. Here I am, Lord. Hold my hand and guide me through. :)

Some many miles those were. Conquered them I have. Another mile again. I have traveled 2.0 miles. Not bad eh? =P

3 days more. XD

OH oooohh...

Used to

We used to have this figured out;
We used to breathe without a doubt.
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.
We used to have this under control.
We never thought.
We used to know.
At least there's you, and at least there's me.
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back to how it used to be?

Yea. Used to. Guess I have to get used to this now. sigh..

I Hope You Dance. :)

I think this song is really written beautifully. Something to encourage everyone today.

Life brings you down, it can make you feel small and worthless, it can even make you feel that you froze dead in your tracks but give faith a fighting chance. I hope you'd find joy regardless of the circumstances and I hope you'd always dance in the midst of the worst possible situations. I hope you'd dance. :)

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

Feb =)

I just noticed that it's February. :) For some reason, this February seems a little different. I used to be really jumpy and excited when Feb comes; yes... I am super excited when my birthday is around the corner. =P

This year? Not so much. In fact.. I wasn't exactly looking forward to it. So much has happened in the last 8 to 9 months of my life and I think it has finally taken its tow on me. I've wasted too much tears on it and I've grown to be numb in a way.

But I know that God has intended my life to take such a course. Did I grow? I really hope so. Did I mature? I really hope so. Did I become stronger? I really really hope so. It's a tough walk ahead but I am ever so glad for the people who are willing to come take my hand and walk beside me. Thanks. :)

I've never known how powerful this sentence is until recently, "This is what we have to face, know that your not alone anymore.." I think I was so awed and touched that tears began to fall. I have to stop crying too much, but better out than in. :)

So, welcome February. :) Thanks for bringing some sunshine in with you. =)

MJ Medley.

This is really good! Talent + Creativity. :)

tinggi..

Aku telah pergi memanjat satu bukit pada hari khamis.

Itu bukit

t

i

n

g

g

i

jangan main-main, whey!

Permandangan di sana cukup cantik dan menakjubkan. :) Aku sangat gembira. Kenapa? Boleh tengok itu banyak banyak awan, pokok dan itu burung-burung berterbangan. Cantik syok! Nanti saya 'naikan' gambar kat blog saya ini. =D

Ok.....that's all my BM can afford today. =P

Sometimes when you least expect it; you'll find it. Sometimes when you find it; you'll find that you didn't need it to be the reason for you to smile or laugh. And sometimes when you finally find yourself smiling.. you'll find that you've FOUND IT at last. :)



I guess you don't have to look too hard. :) Finding joy in the simplest pleasures of life. Something I think I finally understand. You can walk around with your heart heavy and burdened, but who says you can't smile and still find joy?


Be happy. Be joyful. Life is too short to be wasted on tears and sorrow.

SO... Hmmm.. Well then....

Awkward. I can't stand direct selling. Seriously.. Haiyoh! Sigh.. just when I thought lunch was for us to catch up and chit-chat.. She brings out a few sheets of paper.

*question mark*

So I didn't bother at first, but when she took out a pen and started talking bout some company and what not I was seriously taken aback! She even wrote like mind maps and investments plans on the paper for me..

*question mark..question mark*

And I kept thinking that she had missed me or something and had wanted to meet up. Sigh.. Assumptions got me no where. Hah.. So yes.. All I can afford through out lunch was.. "So..um...ok..hmm..aha...aha.....well...yes...ohhhh....aha...." *puts my right hand to cup my chin to look intelligent*

If my mind was plugged into the speakers, it would probably ring..

"SAVE ME!!!"

Note to self.. ASSUME NOT!
Yes.. If your curious, I would be extra careful when any of you ask me out for lunch. Don't be taken aback by my quizzical brow and my questions. =P

Your My Everything :)

Find Me Here

Speak To Me

I want to feel you

I need to hear you

You are the light

That's leading me

To the place where I find peace again.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Divert

I actually enjoy school semesters and now semesters at college. For one thing, it's good to have something to do rather than sitting and rotting at home. I'm taking 5 subjects this sem. Sigh.. I should be able to handle it without being suffocated by too much stress. I think. Here's to hoping. :p

I feel happier and more energized on coming back for my second semester. :) New beginnings. New feeling. =D

Well. The best diversion in the world is work, studies and a PROJECT! =D Yeap. A special project. :)

Father I Thank You.

Father, I thank you
For all that You’ve done
You gave Your Son freely for me
And I praise You for calling me
Drawing me near
Out of blindness
You caused me to see

Spirit of life
You are God’s Holy Fire
You’ve kindled my heart
With Your blaze
And I know You’re refining me
Changing my life and by faith
You’re revealing Your ways

Jesus I need You
As Lord of my life
I give all I have unto You
Lord I want to come under
Your heavenly hand
And to praise You
In all that I do.

I miss camp.

Thank you Lord for bringing me back.

Thank You Father for everything.

I guess there isn't much to be said. With what's happened and the impact of it all. Words no longer seem to describe it all. The pain. The heartaches. The tears. The fears. The powerlessness. Nothing seems to weigh anymore.


I've ran a long way. I've struggled. I've turned away. I've been redeemed. Thank You Lord for not letting go of my hand. Thank you for sending me family and friends. Thank you Lord for being my comfort, my strength, my guide, my light, my Saviour. All Glory be to Your Name.

it exploded..

I have to say. It's calmer than expected. Too calm.

Well.. looking at the days ahead now.

I've decided. This is not it. I will make a difference!

Wondering if I should go for RBS next year.

Thanks Rachel and David for that short yet fun time playing basketball yesterday. :) You have no idea how much your company meant to me. :) Oh and Rayna too!

Ticking

It sounds like a constant flow. Time. It goes on. One tick after another. Time passes.

What if I'm not waiting for time to pass?

What if I'm waiting for it to run out?

Unwillingly seeing it run out.

What happens when it finally runs out?

Sometimes. It feels like I'm handcuffed.

I can't run. I can't hide.

I'm waiting for it to stop.

And explode.

I'm just waiting...

Waiting till the ticks run out.

Waiting till I see 00:00

What comes next?

Explosions.

Loud. Painful. Wounding.

Unstoppable.

Calm after?

If only...

Turn away?

Never meeting the eyes again.

I miss it..

Those times.

It's gone now, isn't it?

Long gone.
Slipped right through my fingers.

I can only pray..

That's all I could ever do..

Ever.

He is sooooooooooooo CUTE!!! XD I just became his fan! He's only 5 this year and he is Japanese. All the smart genes are with this country ain't it? sigh... I want his autograph! =P Yes.. I'm fangirling! How can you not adore such a cute little boy on a ukelele!?

Zoom Out

"look at the big picture"

"there's more to this than what it seems."

"it's but a small fraction of the true masterpiece."

"you fit in with the rest of the puzzle pieces to form one."

Stop zoning in on one point. Stop focusing on that one particular issue. Stop zooming in.

Zoom out.

See the bigger picture.

And sometimes. It requires us to fully rely on God. Even if means falling into a bottomless pit. Because He catches us regardless the circumstances.